Is my husband planning to snatch the kids?

[okaynextstepsare]

We moved years ago from one UK country to another UK country. In honesty the marriage has broken down, sleep in separate rooms, have told husband marriage is utterly over and asked him to discuss split, but he refuses. He recently said he wants to apply for a job that has come up in the country we used to live.
I have a small property there - I said where would you live? I am not living in our old place with you. He insists we would live there and share a bedroom. I told him there is no way I am doing that.

He is going ahead with the application, and his search history shows he has been looking up properties in that country by school catchment.

Why don't you suggest that he moves back alone?

KitchenConfidential

No, she means country.

Though he may be thinking if he takes the kids I will have to follow and move into the old place, so he'll kinda still get his way.

Yes but he won't though, as you'll presumably simply go up there making all the right noises, then simply get the kids and come straight back.

However I would stop this by:

• separating properly, even if for now you're both in the same house. See a solicitor and get a prohibited steps order for the kids and apply for a residency order so they live with you.

• if the property is in your sole name, can you put it up for sale?

• Speak to the LEA for the other area, explain the situation and ask if they can put an alert next to the kids names.

Honestly though - what will probably happen if he gets the job is that he will pressure and bully you to move and when you keep saying a flat no, he'll go anyway. But don't for fucks sake let him live in your house! I'd get it up for sale pronto and locks changed.

Just quickly...

If ex's snatch children, the police are called who do a welfare visit, check the children are ok .......and then leave them there, saying it's a family court matter.....

I supported several women in this situation.

The outcome was usually that the children did indeed remain with him....maybe only for a few days until he didn't want them anymore and returned them to woman's mother or school etc.

In more controlling cases, they kept them until the court date. But the court took a ver6dim view of such conduct and that was usually reflected in the eventual order....

An own goal in the end...

If he does move them to another UK country, you can take him to court and they will make him bring them back while everything's sorted out. They won't look favourably upon him for doing it, either.