Sulking vs Stonewalling

[BudeBude]

So my relationship with my DW had been strained since start of lockdown, if not a bit before. I wrote about it a few months ago.

The other day I noticed that she was in a mood. Short one word answers and not looking me in the face or sometimes pretending to ignore me. I'm not 100% sure what the trigger was although I think it was when I asked her to not do something. I thought I asked her politely... However everything at the moment seems to turn to an argument.

That evening I asked her what was up and she said she was fine. Again last night I asked why she was upset and she said she wasnt. But it's clear she is.

What's people's view on the line between being allowed to show your emotions and something more toxic. At the end of the day she is allowed to be sad and express that but I feel a bit lost.

I've seen another thread on the silent treatment and how people say it's a form of abuse. But I guess I dont see it as that. Shes not being mean... she is just internalising it. Any thoughts

So how long has she been 'in a mood' for?
What did you ask her not to do?
Might be something triggering in that request.
Do you have DC together?
How long have you been married?
You can be moody for a few hours or even a day.
But to carry on being an asshole for days, is not OK!
If she won't discuss it the I'm not sure what more you can do.
When my ExH did this at the start of our relationship, I packed up my stuff and left.

Entering the third day now, though its starting to mellow.

No kids, married 4 years but together over 10. She put something that clean on something that was filthy, so I just literally said that I wouldn't do that as it's not clean. I wasnt spiteful, but its just that environment where everything seems to get to one another.

I guess you can say that for a lot of the relationship I've been a bit passive. I've suffered a bit, got help and trying to be more assertive. She told me she prefers the old me.

I guess I just struggle to understand how being closed and insular is actually deemed aggressive and disrespectful.

Have a google of 'stonewalling abuse'
Look up 'passive aggression' while you are at it.
Of course she prefers the old you.
You did as you were told.
You are starting to find yourself now.
That's threatening to her.
Her cushy life goes out the winder.
What do you like and love about her?

Less and less I guess. Just looking back over the day, it's just constant being told what to do. The first words of the day were to turn the radio down (it wasnt that loud)... I would say most days are interspersed with "dont do that's" or "do this"....sometimes 10x or more. is that normal.

The passive aggressive bit is interesting. I think the worse for me is sarcasm... walks into the kitchen after lunch and say "good job putting the dishes away".... I ignored it for years but now it eats at me.

She has admitted to me in the past that she has a temper and that she nags alot. But I guess I just put up with it

I'd go for counselling to help you get a good look at the relationship. Are you settling? Do you prefer you as you are now compared to the old you (that she clearly prefers)?

And, before bringing any kids into the mix, do you really see this relationship as lasting?

I recall your previous thread, and I think you have decisions to make.