Divorce settlement hypothetical

[cocavino]

for those who want to play. Key facts below:

• 5 year marriage, 10 year total relationship
• wife moved countries for husband. her earning potential much lower in the UK.
• 3 year old child together
• husband was coercively controlling and financially abusive

Key financial info

• bought a house together: she contributed £85k and he contributed the rest from a property that he previously owned.
• there is currently £800k equity in the house. this is the primary asset.
• wife left a year ago. husband has since done £100k in renovations.
• pension saved by both parties during the marriage totals about £180k
• wife has spent £20k in rent since fleeing the marriage
• husband earns £165k plus got a bonus of £100k last year
• wife earns £60k and has child the vast majority of the time

future plans

• husband wants to keep 5 bedroom house in the centre of London for himself
• wife willing to live in Zone 4, but wants a 3 bedroom with easily accessible garden (husband says she only needs a 2 bedroom flat)

What is the wife's financial settlement?

I still think you should insist on full financial disclosure through the Form E before agreeing to a settlement. I know he has no problem lying to you, but he might think twice before failing to disclose to the court,

Total combined pension is around £380k. Mine is minimal (£50k during marriage) due to him not allowing me to put more in pension and my having less time in this country.

I think you need to disengage from him massively and stop discussing this stuff with him. If he tries to talk about it, just say to put it to your solicitor and rinse and repeat.

He isn't acting in your best interests and he's trying to wear you down. Your solicitor sounds on the ball, use her.

When I first went to see my divorce solicitor I was told that what you had before the relationship (because for long term relationships the law looks at the entire time together, not just the marriage) won't count. It's what you 'accrued' since getting together. So with that in mind, even though by ex has millions worth of assets and I don't, I might have had to give him money because I set up my business once we got together whereas he was semi retired. So in order to be certain, speak to a professional. Every situation is different.

You have a needs based case, that will trump pretty all other considerations. The need is that you and your child are adequately and securely housed, and you have provisions made for your future (pension). Ideally you want to be near to each other, and need a three bed so you can employ an au pair to help childcare drop offs pick ups from school while you work. So look at what 3 bed properties cost near to your ex and use that as a guide for how much you will need to house yourself, 50/50 on the equity and pensions is the starting point.

We cant really say what is fair and what is not.
My sister got 50% of her ex’s pension only for the period they were married.

He has offered nearly 50% of the equity and a slice of his pension. You might get more going to court but then pay £30k in legal fee’s to get it.
On the other hand He might have other assets you dont know about.

Update: made that offer. He rejected it.

Made what offer op?

Why offer did you make?

This is what I said on 17 August!

Crazy to make a settlement offer for £390k plus £50k pension?

I actually made the offer on Sunday 16 August.

Total available assets (including his pre-marriage pension) are probably in the neighbourhood of £1.2 million.

I'm absolutely gutted. My solicitor strongly advised me not to accept a settlement for less than half the capital assets . . . and I did. But still, he won't agree.

Listen to your solicitor. If you who I think you are Let the solicitor do w everything, so not engage him at all. He will just tie you in knots. Aim high ! It's you and your daughters future.

Thanks, @notapizzaeater

I think that I have to accept that he is a mean motherfucker and that lots of money and energy will inevitably be wasted on these proceedings.

I have already arranged with my au pair to do all upcoming pickups and dropoffs which otherwise would have required my presence. I need to cut him out of my life like the hideous cancer that he is.

@cocavino - he’s toxic ! Yes he’s going to be a bastard and drag it through the courts but let him - you will get a much better settlement. All he cares about is possessions (you) and the money. Rip the plaster off, it will be a rough ride but much better down the line.

I don't think anyone following your story ever thought that mediation with him would work. It was always going to end up in court.

Wishing you the best of luck!

Thanks, marfisa

This all seems very odd - you are pension light for such well paid jobs . I would be very suspicious of him and his claims .

He did you a favour by rejecting that offer.

I work for a law firm. Please, please take your solicitor’s advice. They do this every day.

That was a crazy offer to have made! Glad he rejected it.

Don't do that again!

I have lurked on your previous threads and your ex is a master manipulator. You really must listen to your legal advice and let the courts deal with this. You’ve gone above and beyond to be fair to him but you know he won’t play fair with you.

I think it’s wise to remove yourself from any interactions at handovers but I hope your au pair doesn’t fall for any of his tricks and knows to keep your address private etc.

He wants you to walk away with nothing. Mediation would never have worked.

Ask your solicitor about including a clause where he pays for ALL legal costs...

Glad the AP has agreed to do handovers.

KOKO