Acupuncture after being cheated on

[Raindodger]

Has anyone ever done this to try to help with the anxiety after being cheated on?

I know most people wouldn’t forgive their husband having an affair but I have chosen to try to move on from this and was wondering if anyone has any experience?

I don’t think there’s any evidence for acupuncture having any real, physical therapeutic benefits, but I had it done at a work wellbeing day once and it was lovely. Very relaxing.

I’d think of it like having a massage, rather than a proper therapy.

And sorry your husband is a shit OP. Maybe seeing a therapist might be a plan?

Winter.. Thank you for replying. I see.. I was hoping for it to be more healing than relaxing. Maybe I need to look into actual counselling then

I tried acupuncture, it left me feeling relaxed but the anxiety from the cheating was still there. The only thing that worked for me was CBT talking therapy and time. I chose not to stay with my cheat but as you are staying your husband can help by being open and honest at all times when you are going through an anxious period. He needs to reassure you always when you are feeling this way and hope that he will not do it again. On reading from other MNters who stay, it can take an awful long time for the anxiety to stop, if it ever does. I think some ladies just learn to live with the back ground fears and anxiety to keep the marriage together. If the anxiety becomes too overwhelming then please get to your GP for help. Sorry that you have been put in this position. It really is a long journey to get to the other side.

Sadly there’s no miracle cure for anxiety - if there was I’d be getting needled every day.

Therapy has helped for me, though I don’t know if I could cope long term with a specific person being the cause of my worries.

Yeah I think it’s going to take a long time.. actually if I will ever forgive. He’s a total prick. I was also thinking maybe of seeing the doctor for a low dose of antidepressants, although I’m reluctant to take medication to get me through something he’s done to me.

You may not need anti depressants, they will give you a questionnaire that will determine depression or anxiety. I was found to have anxiety and put on an anti anxiety drug which was short term and helped. He has caused you this problem and I get how you feel about you having to get help.....but, if you do you may come through this stronger and your husband just might not fit into the way your new you is emerging.

Are you feeling depressed, or is it more like panic attacks?

My GP went straight to antidepressants without passing go, but I refused because I didn’t feel depressed. My therapist said I wasn’t depressed, I was having panic attacks. She recommended I go back to the GP and get something to take when I felt especially anxious, or felt a panic attack coming on. I was prescribed a low dose propranolol, and I pop one occasionally when I feel the Adrenalin rising. I prefer that over the idea of being on long term antidepressants.

Did the anti anxiety drug help you at all? I do think eventually this will end our marriage but at the moment I’m taking each day as it comes.

I would try talking counselling but also think that acupuncture has real opportunity to release pent up emotional stress

The only time I feel panicked is when someone (other than him) tries to talk to me about it. I just feel upset quite a bit and it’s on my mind all of the time. I just need a break from thinking about it.

I have had some counselling (maybe 6 sessions) and I stopped as we were just raking over the same stuff each time. Maybe I need more. I was thinking the options were acupuncture, couples counselling or going to see the doctor.

I would strongly suggest counseling as it’s your mind causing your body pain as it were. You may not ever forgive but you will need to ‘deal’ with you issues so that you can make sense of what’s happened and move on with your life whichever path you chose to take.

Or a different counsellor or type of talking therapy?

Are you able to get away for a bit on your own, to get perspective and take some time to think?

Yes I can get away whenever I like. I know it sounds stupid but are there different types? The counsellor I saw talked over what had happened with me, how I felt etc. It did help to get it all out but like I said, after a while I just felt like I was going over the same thing over and over. Also she spent more time saying what I needed to do than what he needed to do

Well your counselling is for you, and in the end you can’t control what he does, only what you do.

There are different types of talking therapy, and of course different therapists might click with a patient better. I’m no expert, but there’s lots of information online.

No therapist can control or change how your husband behaves though, only he can do that. You can choose how you feel about and respond to his behaviour.

I found that a low dose of propranolol that I was prescribed for anxiety helped me a lot. It reduced the over thinking that was going on and took the edge of stuff so I could think a little clearer. I knew I wasn't depressed. I had some great CBT that gave me tools to deal with life as well as interesting pyschological reasons why we go into this panic mode. My therapist gave me things to do and think about to improve my life rather than hashing stuff out over and over. You may need to find another therapist.

When I had postnatal anxiety I paid privately for CBT (talking therapy) with a chartered psychologist. I chose someone who was also a consultant for the NHS as I think therapists can really vary in quality. It worked well for me and I didn't need any medication. It's definitely worth trying a different therapist if you didn't get on with the first one.