Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My daughter has split with her boyfriend. Why am I upset?

31 replies

Raven79 · 10/08/2020 18:52

My 18 year old and her boyfriend have split up after being together for 15 months. It was a mutal decision as they didn't see each other much and he had stopped messaging her. She was getting frustrated that she had to initiate contact all the time. I liked him and he had stayed a few times. They have agreed to stay friends but I feel angry and upset. I know it's daft but they had each other's names in their Instagram bios. My daughter said they had agreed to remove them. She hasn't removed his yet but he's deleted her name off. My daughter also said that he complained about our family saying they aren't good for her mental health (my mum and sister are quite outspoken). He was so full on in the beginning saying things like my daughter had changed his life. He just seemed to lose interest quickly and she wasn't a priority anymore. He'd go to the pub or get stoned at the park and then hope to come round. My daughter wasn't interested in any of that. I feel cross with him. My daughter has been in tears as she still likes him but he's pissed me off. She's going to uni soon, so has lots to look forward to. I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel like I welcomed him into our family.

OP posts:
NC4Now · 10/08/2020 23:31

I was gutted when DS girlfriend broke up with him. It was totally the right decision but she was part of our family for a while and I missed her.

Dogssox · 10/08/2020 23:33

Sorry if I sounded mean op It was just my opinion and sorry I misread and thought you were crying about it. I'm sure you are a lovely mum.

Yeahmetoo · 11/08/2020 06:22

Be really proud of your daughter, she was being treated like crap and, despite still liking him, she ditched him, recognising he was not treating her in like with her worth. That takes courage at any age, but is actually very self aware and brave at her tender years.

She's obviously been raised to value herself and that will set her in good stead in both work and personal life as she matures further and moves through life.

Yeahmetoo · 11/08/2020 06:22

*in line

Sssloou · 11/08/2020 10:13

It seems that there maybe some unprocessed grief still or your life. There has been a lot of loss and pain. I am sure that her going off to uni in a few weeks has subconsciously amplified those deep uncomfortable feelings for you - so you want to protect her.

Its important that she knows her worth and that she is precious - with MH issues and low self esteem she is vulnerable to allow herself to being treated poorly.

Don’t focus on him - focus on getting her MH support which will set her up for life.

What has gone on with your DM and DSis to indirectly hurt your DD?

Also who will be supporting you when she leaves in a few weeks?

woodhill · 11/08/2020 10:29

@Raven79

I haven't been 'crying about her breakup'. I posted here as I'm a widowed parent with no one else to talk to. I have been supporting her. She's been crying as even though it was a mutal decision she's still upset about it. She's my daughter. I'm upset that she's upset. She knows that I think she's worth better. I thought I was amongst like minded mum's. I have given her space and that's why I thought I'd vent with other mums.

Thanks to those of you who have offered support and reassurance.

I don't think I'll bother posting here again.

@raven

You are. Some of us understand perfectly as we have experienced this ourselves

New posts on this thread. Refresh page