His snoring - I can't be nice when I'm tired

[Aisforharlot]

DP rolled into bed around 4 after sitting drinking and started snoring.
This is not limited to drink, but it makes it worse, obviously.
I haven't slept since, now I'm up with ds and just see. Dp has shoved my vintage designer dress in with the other clothes and tumble dried it and I am furious.

I can't be nice when I'm tired, a d it's causing issues.
I cantsleep through his snoring which has become way worse over lockdown with weight gsin.
I've spent a small fortune on sleep headphones and earplugs I can ill afford to try to tackle this on my end, he won't even buy an orthopaedic pillow that might help.

Wtf now?

Is there another room you can sleep In?

I sympathise, we’re both trying to lose weight as it’s definitely made it worse here.

Oooh dress in the tumble dryer though...what a gutter. Is it ruined then?

Thehop - nope, all full of dc.

Pictish - I know! it's shrunk and faded. he is denying doing it, like I would bloody do it myself

My husband is EXACTLY the same (minus tumble drying a dress).

We have an agreement that if he's drunk he sleeps on the sofa.. as I was done with having zero sleep from 2AM/ being miserable all day.

Make sure you sit down and have a proper discussion to find a solution rather than an argument. If he's a decent person he'll understand and come up with a solution. I'd also suggest giving him the kids all day while you catch up on your sleep today.

He's now sitting directly under the bedroom window and watching bloody tiktok whilst sniffing really loud. I could cheerfully do him in right this second, and i hate feeling so angry through lack of sleep. Makes me totally unreasonable.

Urgh. Huge vintage fan here.I could forgive a mistake with apology but not bullshitting me when he has ruined something I loved. I would be going postal over this (verbally).

Regarding the snoring, I think the agreement to sleep on the sofa when pissed is a good place to start, also why won't he buy a pillow that might help? Do you think he doesn't know how disruptive it is? he might just think he snuffles a bit. try recording it and playing back to him (privately of course, the object isn't to humiliate him).

Muckycat - it was a leopard print halter neck DVF from ebay. I'll never find another!

If you drink and snore you sleep on the sofa. That's what I do. I don't see how any other way is fair. Tell him some random bloke on the Internet goes on the sofa to drunk-snore, so he should do it too.

According to the internet, snoring is the third most common cause of divorce in the US. So your're not being at all unreasonable OP. Sleep is an essential biological need.

For me, it's not just the snoring per se, it's whether or not they care about your feelings enough to Sort It Out. It's truly shocking how many don't bother. They just want the little lady to STFU and stop finding fault. After all, it's her problem, not his.

I would analyse his response carefully OP and put this to him if he doesn't take steps to sort it out. If weight loss and the sofa don't fix your woes, GP appointment for current medical approaches to be explored. By him, not you. If you end up nagging him to make the appointment, see paragraph 2 above.

Agreement in my house is of my partner is having a drink and he'll snore, he'll sleep on the sofa. It works for both of us as he doesn't want to deal with me being grumpy the next day either!

I feel your pain! My husband not only snores when he has a drink in him but also wakes me up with this terrible groaning like he's been fecking shot by a sniper. He then cannot understand why I'm so pissy with him in the morning despite explaining it a million times....

Can you speak to him about the snoring when there hasn’t been drink involved?

You can get mouth guards that help (and it makes a small difference) - my partner was prescribed one by the sleep clinic. It mostly works but if he’s had a drink he still snores slightly. Definitely put him on sofa when he’s had a drink tho.

Unacceptable. He needs to replace your dress. If it’s an unfindable one-off, you could take the carcass to a tailor and ask them to make you a replica to your measurements. This will be expensive for him. Also he needs to find somewhere else to sleep while he sorts out his snoring problem.

Destroying your clothes can be a ‘tactical incompetence’ ploy - ‘well, I will do this women’s work if you insist, but I’m going to ruin things and it will be your fault because you insisted’. My ex did this with a hand knitted sweater that I’d spent weeks making and only just finished. It doesn’t paint an attractive picture.