Just need to rant. Im nearly 6 months pregnant and live with partner at his parents house. Now dont get me wrong I'm so grateful for them and taking aboard me and my baby. My own home was a very dysfunctional place and I feel lucky to finally be taken out of that toxic environment, however I cant say I'm comfortable here. I'm 23 and find it so hard to think about raising a baby here, recovering from labour here away from my mum and my own space. It's one thing to stay here but to raise a baby in a non relative's home is another. His family are lovely, and I really cherish the fact I'm getting closer to his side of the family, but I find it overwhelming the amount of visitors they have. At least 4 times a week. And I've stressed to my partner about not being shown off during this unplanned pregnancy that even I'm struggling to get my head around, yet I know if I dont make an effort to put on a facade and say hi to family friends and relatives remarks would be made. Sometimes I'm just not in the mood, and I dont want to be disrespectful but I wish I was considered for more instead of feeling like a walking bump. I understand my baby is part of the family but she isnt even here yet, I am! It doesnt help that I rarely see my family. This isnt my ohs fault but I find the unbalance of being around and expected to present myself to his family, alot when we hardly see mine and the effort isnt as equal. When my baby gets here I'm worried she'll barely see my side of the family. And I'm worried that after birth if I'm feeling tired or sleep deprived I'll have to suck it up for all the guests that want to see her when they decide to. My ohs parents have a dog that has barking fits all hours of the day and night, they baby the dog too much so in their eyes he can do no wrong, me and oh are both concerned about the dog interrupting babys nap time and the mum seems to think my baby will get used to it! She doesnt want to discipline the dog and instead expects my baby to get accustomed to the dog when surely it should be the other way round. My oh will be going to work full time soon and I'll be left here with nothing to do. I have no income of my own since I was out of unemployment just before lockdown and then found out I was 3 months pregnant and can barely afford to buy myself summer dresses during this heat wave which is depressing in itself. I wont have anywhere to go when he is gone to work since I'm heavily pregnant during a pandemic meanwhile all the people I know my age have starting going abroad to restaurants and beaches. And I'm just stuck here. I just feel so miserable. Whenever situations arise that I dont like, I realise how little say I have in anything here and it really reminds me that this isnt my home, not that my own house ever was. I feel like I have no where to go, or call home. Sometimes I really feel fortunate for this setup and other days I feel this way and almost stuck. I miss my family and I miss my independence. Sorry it's a long one and very choppy I tried to keep it as brief as possible so I havent gone into anything as much as I like to just really needed to get this off my chest.