I think I'm going to blow

[hotandbothered123]

I think I'm just in a rut, I don't feel as if my DP helps me out I constantly seem to be picking up after him and letting him have lays in. I appreciate he works so am more than happy to let him have a rest but I only asked for one day on the weekend every other weekend just for him to get up with my LO but he doesn't. When I ask him just to help out a little more I.E making the bed when he gets out of it and tidying up after himself, he moans he works whereas I just sit at home all day chilling in his words. No appreciation how hard is it looking after a baby.

I feel so isolated as I only have 2 friends that have babies and one of them lives an hours drive away from me so it's not like we can meet up all the time. My LO is 6 months old and in that time not one of my DP's family has been over to our to see him (apart from his dad a few times.)

We constantly make the effort to go over to their homes to see them.

I missed out on baby classes cause of Covid which I'm sure I would have made some friends at so I just feel really lonely and not quite sure what to do.

I just needed to vent.

Of course you have just been chilling. Looking after a baby is just like looking after a doll or maybe a cat.

Show your DP the Matthew Fray blog thing.
It's not his 'help' you need. You need to both do family stuff and he needs to be less dismissive of you.

Could Meetup or NextDoor lead you to some mum groups?

@MikeUniformMike

I haven't heard of meetup or nextdoor but I'll have a look at them. Thank you

Like so many others in here, he doesn’t value you or the very important job as a mum which you are doing.

You need to woman up and get him told if he doesn’t pull his weight you’re going on strike. And mean it. He can do all his own shit if that’s his attitude.

Does he ever have the baby on his own?

I would bug out for the day and leave him to it, see how easy he finds it.

I agree that you need to leave him to it with baby for even a few hours and make sure it's not nap time. So express milk if you are breastfeeding, remind him where the baby food is if baby is weaned, then pop out for a few hours.
That'll teach him that you're JUST at home chilling!

Looking after a baby is basically just sitting around watching daytime tv, drinking tea and eating biscuits. It is horrendously difficult unless you have a vagina though. Just like housework and family organisation is almost impossible if you have testicles.

He doesn't have a clue.

He’s being a prick. Another man who thinks his Big Important Job takes precedence over the needs of everyone else in the house, and how DARE a woman ask him to do something so demanding as making the bed when he gets up?!

He sees you as the caregiver - to both baby and him. He doesn’t respect you enough to try and make your life any easier and dismisses your needs. As other have said - if he thinks looking after the baby is so easy, go for a weekend (or night) away and leave him to it! I imagine he’ll change his tune sharpish if you even suggest it to him.

Play him at his own game

"Oh DP you must be so tired after working all week. Here, you take baby and chill on the sofa."

Then LEAVE the house and leave him to it for at least an hour. Turn your phone off. I guarantee he'll have a rude awakening.