Insanely Jealous!

[sofrustratedandangry]

I split up with my narcissistic partner in April. He has tried several times to get me to come back, but he shows zero emotion when doing it. Anyway, he’s seeing someone else now and even though I don’t want to be with him, I have overwhelmed with insane jealousy! I can’t stand it, it makes me sick! We have a toddler together, so I can’t cut him off, though I wish I could. It’s so hard and I don’t know how to get past the anger that I feel and the sadness that comes at night after I put my baby to sleep :( some tips would be amazing, because I’m really over everything.

Am overwhelmed **

How on earth did he meet somebody else during lockdown?!! I find it incredible that in April he’s begging you to come back, he’s then able to do what nobody else is doing in the entire country eg socialising and meeting new people and then he’s hooked up. It just shows you his character. While the rest of the world are trying to survive he’s got himself a girlfriend! How?!! It just boggles my mind. He’s only interested in himself and you are best off out of it. He’s selfish. He’s weird. Let’s face it, if you’re trying desperately to meet strangers when there’s a virus that could KILL YOU and the govt says stay away from strangers then really? WTF is he doing. If he can move on that quickly then he’s not worth thinking about. Just keep your head up and don’t let him get to you

We aren’t in the UK or in lockdown, for the record. I mean, he’s not actually allowed to be out mingling because of his job, but it’s not against the law. He could be suspended if they found out, but that’s it.

I can understand how you're feeling. My ex was/is an abusive person and we have a baby together. As much as I know he is not good for me I know I would be upset if he got with someone else. However just remember if he was a dickhead towards you he is now being a dickhead towards her and he's going to fuck it up. You really are better off not being in a relationship with him.

So sorry OP. Just wait it out and keep yourself as distracted as you can until the raw feelings heal up a bit.

Abusive relationships and recovery from them are such a huge headfuck. I'm not surprised you feel so mixed up, with abusers there's often a deep part of ourselves that wonders, painfully, what was so wrong with us that they hurt and discarded us so badly, only to take up with someone else. E.g. what was so wrong with me? Why can't I get the nice bits?

But in reality abusers just rattle every cage that they go past until they find their next victim. They care little about their victims. Its much more about themselves.

Its horrible and confusing if you are a normal non abusive person.

I'm sorry x

Thank you for your responses. It’s so hard. I just keep wishing that he would have just put me first and tried his best to win me back. But instead he was like “I’ll stop talking to those girls if you come back.” Wtf? I know 100% I don’t want to be with him. So why do I care that he’s with someone else?! Ugghhhhh I just want to scream and cry and hit something :(

Don't feel jealous, feel sorry for the poor cow. She has no idea :(

I think it is because you see how easy it is for him to "get a new life" and that marts a little because you know it will be harder for you. I was not jealous of my narc x's new gf. No, i was jealous of him for just skipping on with life while i started the long hard process of reconstructing a new life, and also healing and recovering from him

It’s not her that I’m jealous of. I know what’s coming for her, she can have it. I can’t explain it, it makes me crazy.

BeChuille that must be it. Makes total sense because I’m so angry that he has destroyed my life, broken every single promise made to me and our daughter and here he is having the time of his life. He’s getting to have the “honeymoon phase” all over again. It’s not fair