I want to divorce on grounds of Adultery

[Isreeh]

Hi all,

I have a question for everyone who knows the UK law. If I want to divorce my DH on the grounds of Adultery but without naming the other woman. Is that possible? I know if I name her she gets a copy of the divorce petition but I don't have her address, nor do I want her to see where I am living with my contact details.
Thanks x

Why are you bothering ? You have to be able to prove this ? Just do the Unreasonable Behaviour . You are drawing this out and making it even more painful for yourself .

"How do you actually prove your spouse has physically had sexual intercourse with another person without actually being there in person or getting evidence from someone else who also witnessed it?"

@TheStuffedPenguin, you are right. My solicitor said the same thing last year. I was looking for some advice about using adultery but UB does allow you to give more reasons.

For me I just need to end it, grieve, and then move on.

But he’s not ‘going to pay’. It really makes no odds what the reason is in the end. No one sees it. Just use the quickest method.

For me I just need to end it, grieve, and then move on.

You've got it op. It's perfectly acceptable to grieve the end of your marriage. To grieve the love of your husband - you've lost the man you thought he was. To grieve the future you had planned. I wish someone had told me this was OK.

It's also completely acceptable to be angry for all of it. To have rage about being strung along, to have been cheated on.

And, eventually, you will begin to look forward to a new future. New friendships. A life without the all-consuming ache.

You didn't mention kids op - if you don't share any with him you will (eventually) not have him in your life at all - and will have days, weeks, months without thinking about him, and the pain you're in now.

@Muppetry76 thank you for your kind words.
No kids which is a good thing so no future contact is needed. I just desperately wanted him to realise what a idiot he’s been and not loose his wife but he never really put in the work because the ow was always consuming his time. X

I was divorced by exh for adultery, I told him I would contest unless he removed my partner as correspondent. He had partner's name removed & divorce was finalised.

Uncontested adultery is the quickest way to get the divorce over & done with, we separated in May, decree nisi in October, decree absolute January following year, would have been quicker but exh forgot to apply.

As an aside I separated from my ex in 2009. Things dragged on (court re kids and finances, etc) and when he finally pipped me to the post with submitting paperwork 3 years later he put reasons including 'Muppetry is in a relationship with another man'. Well yeah, I was, but that was over 3 years after we separated and I moved out, nothing at all to do with why we broke up. It pisses me off occasionally that he got in first, as I left due to EA, but meh, I'm divorced now and nobody really cares why.

Soory OP, but the OW wasn't consuming his time, he chose to give her that time. Whatever you need to do to end the marriage and move on, do it.

Adultery as a cause won't get you any more money in the settlement, the only advantage of using it or UB is it gets you divorced quicker.

My solicitor said to me that it didn't matter what it said on the decree absolute, we were divorced & I was rid of him & free to carry on my life, she was right.

@TheNortherner

I offered my ex (a man) adultery or unreasonable behaviour on the grounds of having sex with men....both were true...guess which he picked

Adultery as grounds in divorce has to be between members of the opposite sex in a heterosexual marriage.

I divorced on adultery grounds. I wanted this badly as felt it was the true reason for the marriage failure and he was responsible. He also then had to pay. I didn't name the woman. He admitted it and also I had texts and emails of him almost bragging about it. The first bit of paperwork states adultery.

@PinkPupZ I agree with you. For me that is the real reason for the breakup of the marriage but the advice is. I know if I use UB he will probably moan about the reasons. He’s a slight narcissist and blames others for his actions.

At the same time I’m scared moving on because it’s all the lost future that was promised. It’s tough but the right thing to do.

It is so hard I was scared too but life is much better without his mind games and lies. He too is a narc. Honestly it gets easier. I would try for adultery if possible. I doubt he will defend it as it is expensive. If he is infactuated with OW he will prob just sign it to get it done. If you have any texts etc even better. My solicitor at first suggested the UB route but I was lucky I had all those texts and she accepted to go for adultery but not naming the woman. Good luck and stay strong it gets much better!!!

And as I said earlier he has to pay all costs!!

@PinkPupZ, I have him admitting to me verbally and whattsapps with her name. The other woman even had the audacity to contact me in January this year to 'have a chat' but I did not want to speak to her.

My solicitor also suggested UB but I know he does not like to be blamed for anything so a straight forward adultery petition without naming her would suit him. He should pay costs but says he will pay half for anything.

Personally I did not want to divorce him but as he still maintains a relationship with the OW and lied continuously I cannot see the point being with someone who does not want me. We even tried marriage counselling but he was still seeing her so it would have never worked. Its shit but I cannot force him to be with me.