I can't stand my partner a lot of the times since having a baby

[goforit99]

Since having our girl, I just can't stand him the majority of the time. He comes across as immature, crass and lacks some self respect in my eyes, it's almost like I've lost respect for him! I just cannot stand his swearing, he's 40 years old and still says 'ya mum' thinking it's funny, he's ok with using the word cu and says f### a lot in his day to day language, even picking usernames on gaming apps such as your mums tw.. it's so crass and even if he used the word f

Did all this start when the baby was born?

How depressingly immature. What a pathetic man child you have. Just hope he grows up quickly for all your sakes.

@Bitchinkitchen it's like I began to notice it more when we had our baby! It never used to be like that, we naturally clashed and argued when we first bought baby home due to lack of sleep etc ( she was born 12 weeks early so we spent a lot of time visiting her in hospital before taking her home).. when we argue, he can call me a cu?€ and use the word f_%? a lot which triggers me.. it's just yuck, I don't understand people like that.

@Khadernawazkhan agreed! I hope he "grows" out of it too.. self respect goes a long way!

If he's always been like this, and you think it's "yuck", why did you have a baby with him? Babies don't magically change who people are!

I doubt he's likely to pack it in, and he sounds like a bit of a twat, so if it's not something you can live with, I'd leave.

@Bitchinkitchen he wasn't like that as in it wasn't very obvious.. he certainly never swore at me or used so much vulgar language! Rent our question about having a baby with him, swearing isn't a reason to not have a baby with someone, especially if it wasn't used day to day throughout the relationship prior to having a baby lol! It's also not easy to just leave someone , especially when our daughter needs her dad (he's an excellent father)I know the issue is probably deeper than just the swearing but I just cannot find a way to get him to understand that it's not cool to swear.

Sounds like one of those middle aged men trying to be down wid da kids

I was going to say that when I had each of my babies I went off their dad a bit in the first few weeks and it was just hormones. With my 2nd i had a good couple of weeks when I didnt want anyone near us except my older daughter and it used to set my teeth on edge when my partner held her.

BUT if he's calling you a cunt in arguments that's horrible and I couldnt be doing with that. General swearing - doesn't bother me, just don't do it around the kids (I stubbed my toe and shouted SHIT last week and DSS5 sang SHIT SHIT SHIT to the tune of twinkle twinkle for the rest of the day). But name calling is horrible and you deserve better than a man who calls you a cunt

@Bitchinkitchen it was meant to say 'regarding your questions' not rent our lol

@SnuggyBuggy ahhh gets on my nerves..

@Shinygreenelephant thanks for sharing your story! Yes, completely understand the hormones playing a part during the first few weeks especially with affecting how we see our partners, however, it's almost 5 months since we've bought our baby home, perhaps I've fallen out of love with him and everything he does gets on my nerves! Funny thing is he is actually a very nice person, works hard, looks after us as a family, loves our baby more than life but he really does himself no favours when he uses disgusting words like that! I'm not perfect and I do let out the odd sh** or f%#< if like you I stubbed my toe or something but never in that manner, where are your manners, you know? X

A very nice person probably wouldn't call you a cunt

He sounds very immature

@Shoxfordian I'm afraid I agree!

Perspectives on important people in our child's lives, can chanfe once we have them. We want our children to be around the best people so we start to notice these things more. Have a chat and calmly explain that since having a daughter you've realised how much of a responsibility it is and it keeps playing on your mind about setting an example of no swearing etc. He might naturally stop this as she gets older and might mature as she does.
It's really annoying, I feel like I nag at my OH more since kids as I want them to grow up being the best they can, so when I see him set a bad example it triggers me.... But I'm not perfect either so have to learn to try not to nag all the time.
I'd also tell him he is a middle aged man and needs to start growing up... That's what I tell mine in the hope it shames him a bit... But I'm not sure all men do grow up much I'm afraid... My brother still acts like he's in his early 20s as does my partners step Dad!!

@Chocolate4me thank you! I agree completely with how we see people change once we have children and I certainly do want a positive influence for our daughter! I will have a discussion with him about this and hope it does "shame" him into changing or at least try :-)

I was coming on to say something similar to @Shinygreenelephant and it definitely went on longer than two weeks for me but you’re right this sounds different.

I would never have a child let alone be in a relationship with a man who calls me the "c" word

@ivfdreaming he never used to..it isn't everyday, it happens if we argue etc