My father in law recently has been recently diagnosed with a terminal illness, months to live.
Needing some advice how I can help with some difficult family dynamics. My sister in law is quite domineering towards my wife and is getting rude/angry towards her over small suggestions of things that could help.
As the son-in law in the family, is it best for me to just stay back from the arguments or would it be totally insensitive if i were to speak up? I try to deal with things diplomatically, but when I see my wife essentially being bullied, I do want to pipe up and say something.
It doesn't help that just before the diagnosis, there was a recent spat between my wife and mother in-law and the sister is trying to hold that against her. It's quite hypocritical, as the sister has had her fair share (and worse) of recent spats with mum, yet my wife is being portrayed as the bad one.
My stance to this point has been for us both to keep some distance from the sister and avoid conflict. Emotions are running high for everyone and doesn't seem like much point in trying to put someone right and could end up being portrayed in an even worse light. However, there will be the need for certain touch points and I it pains me to see my wife being bullied and not sure what i will do if i see it again.
Also, mother pretty sore about our last conflict. Even though we don't feel were in the wrong, we feel like letting go of any pride and apologising and taking the responsibility so that the hurts don't continue whilst all are going through this.
I guess in a nutshell, i'm torn between whether we should just manage the situation and focus on keeping a good relationship or whether we need to sort out any issues now in case the hurts and accusations become worse in the future.
Any advice would be appreciated.