Online dating, ghosting wtf

[Rainydayss]

What's it all about then?
Chatted to a guy for a couple of days, getting on great, lots of chat, he offered his number to chat in WhatsApp and we did so for s few days... then he blocks me and vanishes.
Why not just say after talking maybe we're not similar or not interested or whatever.. instead of disappearing!

Only just started the online dating thing and think I'll give up before I start!

This happens a lot. Could be lots of reasons- he's married, met someone else, got bored or just likes the thrill of the initial chat and gets bored as it continues. Keep going it is worth it. My tip is to meet as soon as possible as you can waste an awful lot of time chatting to someone who you end up having no spark with when you meet. Good luck hope you find a good one.

People get bored and lose interest. It happens ALL THE TIME both ways round. I've left more men on read than I could possibly remember. Chatting means nothing until you've had a date.

You're over invested. I never chatted for any length of time. They had 6 ish exchanges to suggest a date and then I stopped replying

You will go through more chats than ever become dates, sometimes it will be them that stops other times you will decide you stop talking. It does seem a bit drastic to block without good reason, perhaps they are already in a relationship or getting back with someone and trying to hide anyone popping up.

OLD is a total minefield. I was ghosted completely out of the blue by a man I'd been dating for six months. We'd stayed over at each other's houses, we spent a lot of time together. It hurt like hell at the time and I still don't know why he did it. In retrospect I suspect the coward was married.

Och, this is the norm - you haven't met, it's a no obligation introduction, why give a huge split-up speech?

OP, be more like him. Don't invest. Drop people in a few days if it doesn't result in a meet. NEVER invest in a relationship until after 3 months of dating at least twice a week and including weekends

There's no need to give a reason you are not pursuing something after a couple of days of chatting. If he decided he was serious with someone else and they were blocking and coming off apps would be how I would interpret it - totally normal. And if not that? Well, whatever, not for me.

Good luck with your dating OP - and suggest you hit up the 'Dating ' Thread too xx

@Rainydayss join the dating thread here, things like this happen all the time. Yes, a decent person would let it fade out but I think blocking might mean already in a relationship and just wanted an ego boost. I rarely move to whatsapp though and stay on the original app till a meet is organised. I try and chat on the phone for a tiny bit and meet within a week or two.

Yep, it's happened to me lots of times and I've also done it when a chat just wasn't doing it for me.

Thank you, found the other thread now. I think there is obviously some key rules I need to follow!

I am not a big fan of OLD because so many people tend to behave appallingly...

Anyway, reasons are usually that the guy is not who he says he is (married, used younger pics or sometimes somebody else's pics...) so they disappears when the possibility of meeting up starts being discussed. Or they get bored/moved to someone else and blocking is the quickest way to end a chat...

I would don't waste your time on endless chats. There are a lot of men who are complete time wasters and have no intention of meeting you but will enjoy the attention/ego boost for a few days. Move on quickly if no date is suggested after a few messages of introduction.

Never focus on one man only, even once you have met up and start dating...keep dating and chatting with several men until you are pretty sure the guy is really into you. Most date several women at the same time and always have an eye for the next interesting online profile...

Frankly I gave up online dating after a couple of years. It just wasn't for me but some people have had luck meeting long term partner that way.

Can I anyone sign post me to the dating thread mentioned above?
Tia

Dating Thread 192 - Rose tinted glasses need banning460

@SelenaMeyer2018 see above, it's in this same Relationships section

Tbh I've done this, I'm not married or anything else. Sometimes after a day or so you're just not feeling it, or you discuss things which then let you know they arent for you.
I wouldnt expect to have to explain after 2 days of chatting why I dont want to chat anymore. I did start off trying to explain but IME they then come back and ask for further details which is awkward and tbh quite unnecessary. What I also found is alot of times people just wont accept 'I'm just not feeling it' or 'after talking I dont think youre what I'm looking for'. They get arsey and you end up trying to justify your decision to a complete stranger that you've shared a handful of messages with.
On the other hand, I've had it done to me, too, I take it with a pinch of salt and think ok theyve either met someone they're more serious about - fine, or they just wasnt feeling it - equally fine.

Hes pursuing someone else most likely. Its common to be chatting to several people at a time so thats the most likely option. You may well find that if it doesnt work out he will make up an excuse and contact you again, thats also really common. I've chatted to numerous men that end up without meeting, I'm giving online dating a break for a bit as I'm jaded from the inane chat!

There's a lot of shitheads on dating apps I can imagine! But for me online dating changed my life, I never have used a dating app though. I met my partner 3 years ago through instagram and now we're having a baby . Maybe try and connect with people through your average social media? I feel like there is alot of people on dating apps that are looking for FWB but won't tell you, it's awful. Just remember, the right one will come. I wish you the best of luck.