Two years on since divorce at 28 - update post

[Littlebee1990]

Wow I stumbled across a few old threads of mine and wanted to come on here and offer some kind words and support to anyone who might be earlier on in the journey..

Here are a few of the threads from earlier on in the break up

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3436705-28-getting-divorced-Scared-I-ll-never-be-happy-again

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3471539-11-year-relationship-marriage-ended-he-has-a-new-girlfriend

I remember being 28, petrified and googling how to get over a divorce because nobody close to me (apart from my parents had been through one) so I found it therapeutic coming on here for advice!

2 years on from the bomb drop and I can hand on heart tell you I am happier than I have ever been in my life. I honestly wish that girl writing those posts knew the women she would become and the amazing people she would meet along the way. This is by no means a bragging post but I just want anyone who might be low right now to know that it does get better. I have been with the most amazing man in the world for 16 months (completely unexpected) and it was hard opening up again but he really is the kindest human in the world.

I really don’t have much more to say other than remember that everything can get better, you can go on to have an even better life and that one day it really will make sense ❤️

Lovely ..I amxxx year post divorce here . I don't really know how long .. it was 5 years of hell to get I'll sorted then been another 5 years to sort it my life but yes very happy . No happy ever after relationship but I do much other stuff to deal with .
Divorce was definitely the best the I ever did

You're very lucky. It's 4 years on for me and everything is still shit

@Littlebee1990
I loved reading your post and take hope that things will work out for me. I'm much happier divorced but I haven't found anyone else yet. Ive been divorced three years now.
How did you guys meet? Have you got any tips or advice?
All I've been doing is work on myself as it seems to be the mantra fr every divorced woman. But I've done that, and continue to do that- so what is next? :)

I'm so pleased for you OP! Its so lovely to read that so much positive came from those tough times you went through. Thanks for sharing

Oh wow. What a wonderful post. I’m so happy for you. Is your Ex still with the girlfriend? He never did have any time on his own did he!?! I wish you a lifetime of happiness

Thank you all so much, I remember when it was bad just wanting to hear good stories so thought I’d come back. Thanks for being so kind!

@LilMissRe Love that you’re happier and focused on you. Tbh I wasn’t looking for it at all.. was having fun being little miss independent and working and going on holidays 🤣 We actually used to work at the same company years ago.. we bumped in to eachother in a pub about 10 months after my break up and it went very slowly from there.. which included me shutting it down copious times out of fear and him being very patient!! 15 months on & we’re now trying for a little +1 to join us 🤞🏼My advice would just be open to it, expect the unexpected and remember it’s ok to be shit scared and doubt good intentions if you’re not used to them.. the right person won’t question it! ❤️

@bakedoff As far as I’m aware he’s still with his girlfriend, I’m sure one of our mutual friends would’ve taken great pleasure in telling me they’d split up if they had! I don’t obsess over what she’s got that I didn’t anymore but can’t say I wish him the best either because quite frankly I don’t 🤣

@Littlebee1990

Awww love this!
I just don't know how to go about not expecting it- I hear that advice all the time but how do actually not expect it, you know? I'd love to know how I should live my life so I can least expect it but can't figure out how I could do that- especially if I'm on the apps lets say and my friends try and set me up or ask me about my singleness.

How did you do it? :)

@LilMissRe I’ve always been quite a positive person but I think after the break up I just didn’t expect to open my heart to anyone for a long long time so was quite negative about anyone I met (I didn’t go on any apps or anything I mean like in a bar etc) and was very stand offish. I would say be open to meeting people who perhaps are different to the usual type and follow your heart. Sounds so daft but I actually thought my partner was too good looking and I wrote him off because I was like “oh I bet he’s such a co*ksure player” 🤣 turns out i was very very wrong and shouldn’t judge a book by its cover... or in this case a man by his handsome face!!

Thanks for this, my husband has just left so it's great to see there is light at the end of the tunnel. So happy everything worked out for you.

Great to hear that things get better. I am one day into this and am completely broken

Thank you so much for this post OP, I for one needed to see this

Great to read this. My husband left 5 days ago and I can’t see beyond the next day right now

Thank u for this. i'm literally at the start of a break up and this has really helped. All i want is to be happy and my boys to be happy and hopefully that'll happen when the shit part is over. glad things have worked out well for u xx

Thinking of you all and I promise it gets easier ❤️

I was wondering about some old posts the other day and I thought of yours. I remember reading at the time and really felt for you. So glad you are doing well, lovely to hear.

What a lovely post, @Littlebee1990. You’ll be giving lots of ladies hope this evening. So pleased things are happy and shiny for you.

It's good to hear something so positive.

I went through a difficult few years then a separation then a final split.

I'm recovering but its been hard and taken longer than I expected.

I was on mumsnet at the time and right from the start the advice was to leave. I didn't and let it drag on. I wish I'd left about 1 year after we started dating when I saw the first red flag. I feel like I became more and more downtrodden and damaged by the relationship. Escaping earlier would have saved me so much stress, time and money.

@Mybelle I often do the same and always long for an update! Thank you so much.

@anonnnnni That’s so lovely of you, thank you!

@MyShinyWhiteTeeth Hindsight can be a wonderful thing but you did what you thought was right for you at the time! Don’t beat yourself up over should’ve, would’ve l, could’ve. You’re out of it now and healing at your own pace 😘

Thank you again everyone for the lovely comments. I just remember wanting to hear of people who had survived the storm when I was in it so I really hope it’s a reminder to some that things will get better. I just remember thinking I’d never ever be happy again and boy I was so so wrong!

I think it depends on if you are lucky enough to meet someone else nice or not. I think the OP met this new man within a few months of the bombshell so a good distraction from the grief and shitstorm! My divorce took a really long time and DP came along as a positive distraction too initially. If you are alone and want to be alone that is fine but I think some people aren't fortunate enough to meet someone else they can love very easily.