How do we compromise on where to live or do we continue to live separately?

[Outdoorsie]

So we're together 4 years, late 40s, no children, own our separate houses. After 2 years together partner decides to leave our town and buy a new house an hour's drive away. Now, at the moment there's no talk of living together, but if it comes to it, I don't want to live where he is now - I prefer the town we both lived in and it certainly would be too long for my work commute and I had absolutely no input into this move. I can't see him moving again in the near future. So if this is to come up, has anyone any suggestions? I'd be willing to compromise in another area but I'm not sure he would. I don't think I'm being unreasonable in not wanting to live where he chose - as I said, we were together 2 years at that stage.

Did he move to be nearer family, friends, job? I would call it a day if I were you. It’s the no discussion which shows you what you mean to him.

Have you posted about this before, OP?

It sounds familiar.

@Outdoorsie

I think I have to accept we'll never live together. Things are okay between us otherwise, he can be a bit 'bossy' at times, likes things done a certain way, but he's a lot of good points also, but lately I feel I don't want to spend every single weekend together, eg want to meet friends and do other things as this is as far as our level of commitment can go.

I suspect things are coming to their natural conclusion.

Doesn't sound that he sees a long term future with you at all if he decided to up and leave and buy his own house elsewhere without involving you in the decision Actions speak louder than words

That’s interesting - do you not see friends together?

I'd have ended the relationship when he moved an hour away, I think. It signalled that he was detaching from you and didn't see you as an important part of his future.

If you read his list of pros and cons, you must have some idea of where his head is. What did they say?

It does sound like a dead end really. I certainly wouldn't sacrifice your own friendships and time for someone who shows no sign of real commitment.

It was a list of pros and cons for me and the only thing on the list was my commute to work - con.
Whereas for me the cons would be my non involvement in this whole move, not being somewhere I'd like to live.

OP here again. Because of our circumstances we usually only see each other Saturday nights now, in his or mine, but I often stay longer in his when I can and would always do something on the Sunday before I leave. When he stays in mine now, he's gone by 11. Today he said he'd a couple of hours work to do, that's fine, but I still feel he could have suggested a walk or lunch first if it's only going to take him a couple of hours. He left similar times recently with no excuse for work. He only arrived to my place at 5pm yesterday.

I've no problem doing something on my own today but just thought it would have been nice. Am I unreasonable to feel I'm handy to have around now and again?