Can you stay friends with a guy you rejected?

[hotpotlover]

So about two years ago ( summer 2018) a close friend told me he had feelings for me. I was very straight forward with him and said that I didn't have feelings for him. He was quite sad, but asked me if we could stay friends and I said yes.

There was never anything intimate between us, we were just friends.

A month later he went to Germany to work there for a year. He always wanted us to set a time on a Sunday so that we could skype every week. At the beginning it was nice, but then I got busy and just couldn't commit. I told him that I was busy one day and couldn't Skype with him. Later on another friend of mine told me he called her and complained about me, "she said she's busy, do you know what she's busy with?" it pissed me off as I can't make a commitment to talk at a certain fixed time once a week to a friend and I think people should be flexible.
In February 2019 another female friend, him and myself went to Portugal for a week. It was a holiday we planned for a long time. When we all hugged each other at the airport afterwards to say goodbye he tried to kiss me, so I pulled back from his embrace.

When he came back to the UK in summer 2019 we initially didn't have contact, but then we started talking again.

I've seen him a couple of times ( in a friends sort of way) and I thought he had understood it and I also knew he was going on dates. One day he said to me though that another friend wished me good luck. I asked: "With what?" and he replied "with you". I didn't react as I already told him that I wasn't interested and I thought silence was the best answer.

I also have a partner now and I'm pregnant, due any day now. My friend sent a gift to my house for the baby, which I thought was quite nice.
He's also whatsapped me and said he would like to meet me and the baby after it's born. I thought that was quite selfish as shortly after birth you still need to recover and you might not feel ready to meet other people.
He's also texted me twice to ask if the baby is already there ( I'm overdue by 5 days now).

I feel a bit creeped out by his behavior. Am I being unreasonable or am I right in thinking that it was a mistake to continue the friendship after I turned him down?

Like I said, there was never anything inappropriate between us and I never lead him on. I just appreciated his friendship, but that might have been naive on my part.

Thanks for your advice.

Trust your instincts. I wouldn't and I learned the hard way.

So far he doesn’t seem to have accepted you and he will never be more than friends.

So the question is will that ever change.

The whole seeing the baby might be the slap of reality he needs. Or he could be wanting to see him/her to show you he can accept another mans child and the three of you can be a family.

I’ve been in a similar position (Minus baby).
I’ve told him I’m not interested multiple times to no avail.
I have now been ‘busy’ a lot and dialled our friendship right back.
By not seeing him I’m hoping that it will let him get in with his life and we can be friends at a later stage in a year or two. However I don’t know if that’s wishful thinking.

I asked a woman out just before lockdown, I'm a man, and it turned out she was unavailable but said we could be friends. My thoughts were that we couldn't be friends as I'd always be wondering if something more could happen. It would be manipulative and deceitful to pretend to be friends while I had an ulterior motive. So in your position, OP, it would probably be best to go no contact for a good while or end the friendship. That's the healthiest thing to do for all involved.

Thanks for your advice. My hope has always been that once he finds a girlfriend he will back off. He's been going on dates a lot, all the while he still persued me.

So far he hasn't found anyone yet, so I think it's best to distance myself from the friendship.