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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I a fool

9 replies

Noidea123 · 03/08/2020 20:44

Gonna be a long post but I'm at my wit's end now and don't know what to do anymore. Been with partner now for 3 years and have a one year old child together o have an 8yo and he has 3 children from previous relationship. All 5 children are currently living with us and I watch them while he works during the day. No one helps around the house including partner and I get no help from him with 1yo. It's taking its toll on me and when I say to him he goes mad saying I'm lazy he works all day it's my job to do he house etc. I don't mind doing things but I do everything even pay all the bills as his ex still claims for children which I've to allow or the house gets smashed up with his anger or has me in tears with name-calling. Earlier there he told me their visits to mums changes to a different day this week and because I said he should have asked it was ok with me first instead of just saying yes as always... I was annoyed as he still does whatever she demands even though we have them. Then he went off on one again banging doors calling me vile names again. I can't take it anymore he didn't want me to have our 1yo as it would upset his other kids..more like the ex and she has done nothing but slag me off and my child and he still allows it.

OP posts:
mmgirish · 03/08/2020 20:46

This sounds terrible. You need to take your children and leave.

Holothane · 03/08/2020 20:47

Take your children and leave he’s taking you for granted hugs.

Noidea123 · 03/08/2020 20:50

Thanks for replying. I'm at the point Ive allowed it for so long it's my own fault for putting up with it. I love him so much it's just when we argue it's horrible and the names do get to me and I've told him this and he still does it

OP posts:
Sakurami · 03/08/2020 20:50

He is emotionally abusing you. Lazy??? With 5 kids?? Ha! Split and enjoy your life without this idiot

mmgirish · 03/08/2020 20:53

It's not your fault.Abusive people can be very convincing/charming sometimes. Think about what your children are seeing when they watch you two together.

Ugzbugz · 03/08/2020 20:58

Dont let your children grow up around this awful man and think its nice and normal, they will probably end up with a husband just as bad. Run for the hills and use that love for yourself and your children, hes a loser.

PerditaProvokesEnmity · 03/08/2020 21:00

I love him so much ...

What is there to love?

I really think MNHQ should have a sticky thing at the top of Relationship threads (real or imaginary) stating that it is highly unlikely that a separated man with several children, who is eager to move in with you, wants you for your wit and intellect. You are the housekeeper.

Notcoolmum · 03/08/2020 21:18

He smashes things up? Leave immediately.

piscean10 · 03/08/2020 21:19

To answer your title - yes. You know him for 3 years and have a 1yr old which means that you knew him for a very short time before you brought another child into this. And you have another child. And have his 3 other kids. What a mess. The only thing you can do is leave I guess.

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