How long will it take to get over this?

[RWilson93]

Was with OH since we were 18. Met at uni and madly in love. Moved back to his hometown and just couldn’t settle. His family also hard work and desperately craved something else. Then offered a new job 2 hours away from where we were. I ended it and he was devastated. 3 weeks later having regrets and reached out. He’s now saying there’s no going back and house is on the market. Being quite nasty and cold too. This was 2 months ago and feel it’s getting harder not easier. Was also told this weekend he was in bits in the pub crying about how much he loved me. Has anyone been in something similar? Why is he so reluctant to try again?

The way you have written your post has come across as very cold and hard. I apologise if this is not how you meant it but its how it reads. He is reluctant to try again because you finished the marriage and he is devastated. You have broken him. He is hurt and is in tears. Why would he want to return to someone who could walk away like that. It is normal to be cold to someone who has ripped your heart out. I suggest you let him go as you did before. Have some space between you so he can heal and move on. You need time to heal to. You left for a good reason and that reason is still there. You are just going through the normal "think I have made a mistake" from people who dump others. That will pass and you can move on too from your regrets. I was in your husbands situation and I felt the same. I shut down completely and never went back despite him begging me to go back. I was devastated for a long time but knew the relationship was broken and nothing would fix it however much I loved him. Good luck with your future and let the marriage go for his sake and yours.

Sorry, you are not married but you are/were partnered.

Depends how you ended it perhaps. If he was blindsided by it and there had been no previous discussion about it or trying to resolve issues he may have felt a collapse in trust for you, which he may think is not possible to overcome?

Or maybe a pride thing?

He may feel he will get messed around if you both try again and wants to protect himself from that?

He may feel that, on reflection, the right overall decision was made?

Love on it's own is not always enough.

Because he's hurt and scared it would happen again. If it's been 2 months since the last contact, you could try and reach out again, ask how he is? People don't always come around straight away and he's probably feeling he's not up to him to make it right.
But if you do contact him again be sure it's what you really want, why would you think it would work this time?