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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is this behaviour over the top?

3 replies

Heidi3333 · 03/08/2020 13:44

Hi there

Just looking for some opinions.

I have a 4 year old daughter and my brother has 3 little girls too (all older) Last year there was an outbreak of head lice at my nieces school and all 3 of them caught it and passed it on to my daughter who hasn’t started school yet. I have battled head lice on and off for about 6 months as my daughter keeps getting reinfected at nursery. My ex sister in law (seperated from my brother and lives with my nieces) has battled with the problem too but over lockdown managed to get all her girls free of the bugs.

My brother normally has his girls every weekend but my his ex wouldn’t allow them up to his during lockdown because she worried that because I’m a nurse and often at my parents house next door to my brother - that they would be at risk of catching covid 19. For this reason they hadn’t been to my brothers house or seen their grandparents and myself and my daughter for 4.5 months.

Finally, at the weekend just there, she allowed them to come up but only after she insisted my brother shaved his head to ensure he had no lice and to increase her maintenance money from now (she isn’t legally due any more but he relented so he could have his kids). They were also warned to stay away from my parents, me and my daughter in case they caught lice. My parents have never had any lice and my dad is practically bald! We hadn’t seen the 3 little girls for almost 5 months.

While they were at their Dads they came down on their bikes to see us all but knowing the instructions we kept our distance and just chatted to them while they cycled around (my daughter joining in on her bike too). There was never any physical contact. My nieces looked really happy to be back in our company again.

My sister in law kept phoning my nieces every 20 mins demanding to know where they were, who they were talking too etc. When she heard they had seen my daughter (only out on their bikes under my supervison) she went bananas and started shouting at them all. She then drove 30 minutes from her house and picked them up and took them all home, leaving them all in tears inc my daughter 🙁. She now says that we are never seeing them again!

She is under the belief that lice can jump/fly and that my whole family is contaminated. I understand how frustrating head lice are but I feel her behaviour was waaaay over the top, eps since she had 4 little girls in tears. Her daughters have infected my child lots of time’s and indeed started this whole thing off but not once have I made an issue out of it as I just see it as one of those annoying childhood hazards.

Wa she bring unreasonable?

OP posts:
nolovelost · 03/08/2020 13:47

Yes! And 100% can't jump or fly!

Aquamarine1029 · 03/08/2020 13:52

Her behaviour is very alarming, and to me it appears she is suffering from extreme anxiety. She's just not being rational, and on some level she may realise this, but due to her anxiety she can't control it. The poor woman might need help.

Heidi3333 · 03/08/2020 14:50

Thank you for the replies.

I'm glad to hear I'm not being crazy!

She is v manipulate and controlling and often used the children as pawns to upset my brother. I think sadly this may just another tactic she's used.

OP posts:
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