Ex hasn’t returned my things

[anonnnnni]

Hello,

I’m three months on from a LDR breakup that I posted about here under a different name: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3893807-Backtracking-on-a-breakup-strange-behaviour

My ex is overseas and we’ve had zero contact since April. I’m doing really well but was hoping by now that I would have had some of my personal items returned to me. In particular, a piece of framed artwork that was actually a birthday gift from him(!) I had some newish hiking boots and my Christmas stocking from my childhood (I know, I know!) We lived together for over 18 months so naturally there’s some stuff of mine OS from when he relocated.

I’m coming round to the fact I won’t see these items again and they’ve likely been binned, especially as I didn’t request them. It goes without saying I can live without them, but has anyone experienced their ex not returning their things and isn’t this a pretty low thing for him to have done?

It’s my birthday tomorrow and I’m just cross that I’m without those items and one of them had been given as a gift.

Common courtesy would dictate you return your ex fiance's items without prompting, no?

Alas not. Either ask for it back (though be prepared to hear that he had already disposed of it), or accept that it's only 'stuff' and chalk one up to experience.

@canigooutyet i’d call him many, many things 😆

My ex refused to give some of my stuff back. It was so weird, like why do you want it

i can’t see he’s done anything wrong, you didn’t ask for them back.

Oh hang on,, sorry, I answered in my lunch break and didn't read the linked thread.

So he was playing silly buggers and giving mixed messages when he broke up with you. I would write off your stuff rather than ask for it back, tbh. It'll just be another excuse for him to try to mess with your head. Not worth it.

Post him a postal bag or padded envelope or whatever. Clearly written with your address. Include cash for postage or do a bank transfer for costs.
Include a note stating clearly which items you expect back. Or text a message saying you will pick up items on xyz date, please leave on back doorstep.