No real point to this post other than to get some feelings off my chest really. I know some will say 'good job you know now' or time will help etc.. Which I kmow but it doesn't really help at points as I know many of you are aware of.
So v long story short.
Met ex, amazing guy.. Had been dating for almost 4 yrs. No kids, no baggage, an easy set up as such for us both.
Over the duration of the relationship a few things happened that I was a bit? Over but nothing I felt to be worried about and on we've gone.
He instigated the moving forward convos and that was as far as we got. If I broached or tried to talk about them he'd shut down. I'd initiate convo and he'd act like nothing had ever been mentioned. After a while I realised there was more to it than just him being a manbaby.
Long story short I ended things a few weeks back. Researched stonewalling and backtracked previous issues to make me think he's got a dissmissive attachment style. Lots of things now add up.
I felt sorry for him and messsged him being nice and saying I understood things were hard etc.. He replied.. As hed always done previously almost like nothing had happened (he did address parts of the problem) and I said if he wanted to talk I'd listen. And nothing.
I know that's it now. It's been 5 days and I've done all I can. He was great to be with and I actually feel like I'm going to have a panic attack thinking about not seeing the him again. I'll miss his family too.. Its all very sad.
So sorry for the rant, I just wanted to vent to help me get through this awful time. I feel like I've lost a best friend right now.