Dh moved out tonight.. Having wobbles

[Stegasaurusmum]

STBXH f 18 years moved out tonight, to his new rented place. We split during lock down, start of April. Wasn't mutual to begin with but he accepted it very quickly, seems positive about the future. Very amicable, we are able to chat as friends even now and over the last few weeks have spent lots of time apart in the evenings and at weekends, so used to being apart. 2 DC, 10 and 5, they've taken it very well, are excited about the new house and are staying over on Tuesday and for the weekend..theyll see him about 3 x a week and any time they want to, money sorted, we are staying in the house for a couple of years at least.
So, it's all fallen into place but I just feel so sad. So tearful, when I left I hugged him and had a little cry on the way home. I know it's what I want, I pushed for it as I felt like his mum, he never took charge or any responsibility for the kids, he didn't do housework (but all of a sudden now his new place is spotless. 🤷‍♀️), refused to learn to drive even though we live rurally and its essential, he still relying on me for all of the stuff, even now, lifts to places, asking for advice about bills etc.
So I know it's right but I'm so wobbly right now.

he still relying on me for all of the stuff, even now, lifts to places, asking for advice about bills etc.

When will he every learn of you keep doing this for him?

Does he know the reason you wanted to split .. and that him not doing any of this was a large part of it?

It is really sad, especially as it seems as if he’s someone easy to like if you’re not married to him. But how lovely to be having this kind of wobble - when I split from DH I spent 10 days alone in the house with the door on a chain revelling in my freedom and the bliss of knowing he couldn’t get in.

Be kind to yourself, but remember why you’ve split and be happy the kids are OK.

he still relying on me for all of the stuff, even now, lifts to places, asking for advice about bills etc.

You need to stop enabling him OP. If he gets stuck he can ask other people.

... It's perfectly normal to be feeling a you do after 18 years together though.

Thanks all. I've had a lovely bath and far too much wine after getting the kids to bed and I'm still sad but feel better. Just the last night months has really taken its toll I guess.
Yes he does know, I just got to the point where I didn't fancy him at all, just saw him as a brother or child.. I guess he will still keep doing it, I am accepting of the fact I'll still be doing all the organising with the kids, doctors, dentist etc.. But I guess at least I'll be frer and get two nights a week off..
However, he works away a lot and has just anounced he's away all week next week.. So I'll just have no time to myself again I guess.
I know how lucky I am though, I'm not leaving someone who's abusive or anything, I'm so lucky we have the money to separate like this.
Onwards and upwards