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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Why do I keep changing my mind?

1 reply

SandySix · 02/08/2020 10:49

I’m really confused. DH and I split up but are still living together until the divorce goes through and it’s all amicable.

Our problems are around me shouldering 99% of the load, very bad communication between us and some longstanding resentments from his side.

I was feeling like splitting was the right thing because we had no relationship left and he was cold and distant with me. After we decided to split 2 months ago, things have got so much better.

I told him that I still love him and that I don’t want to split. We chatted a lot. He’s not totally against the idea of reconciling but he’s not desperately pushing for it. He feels that the poor communication won’t go away and he doesn’t believe we can improve it. I think we can.

But I keep flitting between really wanting to stay together and keep the family together. We have 2 young children. And then I flit to thinking splitting is best. I don’t understand why I don’t know my own mind on this issue.

Does anyone have any advice please?

OP posts:
RandomTree · 02/08/2020 10:53

I believe that communication can be improved, especially with the help of counselling or a marriage course to give you new tools.

I think you shouldering 99% of the load is much less likely to change. That means he's either lazy or a misogynist, which is usually pretty deep rooted.

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