Emotional manipulation - rescuer

[Rainydayss]

Has anyone had experience of this?
My ex DH made me feel guilty/sympathy to which i was very supportive because of his depression (which turned out to be an affair). A recent boyfriend claimed he had nothing is his life worth anything except me, plus also made me feel sorry for him because of his own life circumstances.
How do I attract theses types?! My counsellor said I'm a rescuer type which I'm reading up about.
Am I unreasonable to want to be with someone emotionally independent?!

It's sounds like you are an empath. Born to put others first. Not sure how you prevent what's happening. More self awareness I guess. I am similar. Sympathies 💐

Well I suppose you can make it clinical and put yrself into a box. I suppose it depends whether you actually like the guy.
Theres plenty of people who have been abued or feel insecure it doesnt mean you have to do all of the rescuing.

oh I forgot to add needy, them not me...

Sounds like you could be codependent. You need to put firm boundaries in place before you enter a relationship so you can see the red flags before you get emotionally entangled. There are some good videos on YouTube about it.

According to the theory, you will seek a "victim" and rescue them to fulfill a relational need. The work is to become aware you are reacting in this way and make new decisions about how you respond. For example to rescue is actually not ultimately helpful for the victim. Also google the winners triangle. When instead of victim, rescuer and perpetrator it's vulnerable, facilitator and assertive. You're aware of the pattern. That's a MASSIVE step forward, don't underestimate it!!

lots to read about, thank you. Definitely need boundaries and be clear what I will/wont tolerate