Hello
Been using this site for reading purposes for a long time but today I’m posting with the hope of some advice from anybody who’s been through what I’m currently going through.
My DH is a misery guts, 5 out of 7 days he’s moody. The best way to describe my current state is that I’m walking on eggshells on a daily basis. I constantly have that feeling of “when’s he gonna kick off”... Not IF he’s going to kick off. It’s as if it’s certain it’s going to happen, just a matter of when and what will it be over today.
I have self worth, I know when I’m not being treated well and I’m the type of person who likes to deal with it and not let it slide. I believe we have a certain control on how we let others treat us, I don’t wish to be a doormat to have his feet wiped on and that’s how I’ve been feeling.
No matter what I do I’m at a loss, I do my bit financially, I look after the kids and make sure everyone is fed and happy. I think I’m a pretty decent wife to be honest. I pull my weight in all departments! However, I feel like I’m being taken for a ride. My DH is never happy, always has something to say about everything. He can be very ungrateful and harsh, not very friendly/warm.
We also have different parenting styles (2 kids). I’m more of a laid back parent and he’s all about rules and regulations. I don’t mind if the kids are watching a bit too much tele some days, after all, schools are closed and with the corona situation soft plays are closed and there’s only so much I can take them out. DH doesn’t do anything with the kids such as day trips or parks etc, it’s very rare he’ll take them somewhere. So why moan if they are happily keeping themselves entertained? He does help with them at home though.
Other points to mention are, I don’t feel respected. His language has been getting worse, he won’t think twice before swearing, whereas it takes me a while to get to a place of using swears. I would need to be very pissed off to swear.
He loses his cool over things like, misplaced items, something not being done the way he would do it or how he likes it. It’s like he has to approve everything. It’s becoming hard to live day to day and side by side with a critic.
Have I tried talking to him about this all? Most definitely, that’s all I’ve been trying to do for months and months. Sometimes he’s in full blown denial about it and other times he tells me he’s felling depressed and doesn’t know why he’s down. Assured me he would seek help and speak to the GP but then flipped and said there’s “nothing wrong with me”.
Advise me ladies and gents.. it’s hard to help someone who doesn’t help themselves, what now...