I'm done. Just been called a cunt

[Dontaskmegoogleit]

That's it really, always said if it comes to that....I'm done.
I understand it doesn't hit has hard as what others have and do go through. But that was my threshold

No, I've not seen a solicitor yet, but I will. I need to protect my kids and what I have built up over the years.
Hes been " self employed " for the last 3 years, seems to have given up on life and marriage .

@Dontaskmegoogleit

My kids DO deserve better.

OP YOU deserve better as well, good luck

You are not his enabler, what does he deserve of yours when he has treated you so badly?
Nothing, do not feel you owe him anything he is a grown adult responsible for himself.

@SRS29 thank you and all the other posters for clarity

When I was a little girl my mum used to tell me to know my own worth, because others will always try and tell me what I'm worth when they're crossing my boundaries, to justifying doing so.

You know your worth, and your boundaries have been crossed. Of course you deserve better and you know it.

The fact that you have recently set this line indicates to me that things have likely been on the decline for a while and you knew this was coming. Doesn't necessarily make it easier but this doesn't sound like a knee jerk reaction and I do think you deserve better. Good luck.

@Couchbettato , yes! I tell my daughter that all the time. Although I'm not setting
an example.

@Casmama you are intuitive

He is snoring in bed, thinking a sorry in the morning will sort things out.

I would seek a counsellor first, to clarify your own thinking
And talk to a solicitor

@Singinginshower not trying to be defense, but why would I need to speak to a counsellor?

What everyone else has said.

@Dontaskmegoogleit

I dont know why I am wary / scared of being on my own...... I loved it before. For 6 years !

Trust me, you will grow to like it again. Your husband has become a habit, that's all and habits can be broken.

Your kids have had enough as well I bet if it's been going on since they were 10 and 7.

You've done everything you could. You've set the lowest possible bar and he's not been able to hold to that. You deserve more. Every woman does.

@Singalonggong I am ashamed to say yes I've set a low bar.

@Dontaskmegoogleit

Just for context. Second marriage, I have 1dd and 1 ds, 20 and 17. He has been our lives for 10 years, always issues, but I brushed them under the carpet.

10 years is not a long relationship or a massive chunk of your or your DD's life. Right now, leaving him seems a massive thing to do but fast forward a couple of years and it will be nothing. Time to move on OP - I wish you well

@notangelinajolie thank you x

You can not possibly see a solicitor sooner. PLEASE make an appointment tomorrow. Do not wait, and don't waste another day staying with this horrible man.

I really admire women who have clear boundaries and do not put up with bullshit. Congratulations, OP.

There was a thread the other day about the women who stay with paedophiles. It's disgusting but if so many women won't even stand up for themselves...

As a woman who also ended a relationship for this reason and the exact same word, I can tell you - I did not regret it!

If you stay, there's more from where that came from.

See a solicitor - and don't let him have any of your house if you can avoid it. Look after yourself and your children's best interests.

I have had my Golden Wedding - I never heard him use that word about anyone especially not me. Yes we have disagreementslike any couple.

Good decision op. Hope youre ok today

I don’t get sworn at, neither of us swear which seems to be a rare thing these days! You’re doing the right thing....I wouldn’t stand for being called the ‘C’ word, I hate it!! Good luck with everything!