If you are an introvert, do you ever feel like you are missing out socially?

[mujila]

I met up with some friends today who I haven't seen since March. I'm highly introverted, live alone, and really embraced the solitude of lockdown to catch up with all sorts of things that i never normally have time to do. One of the friends I saw today is a real social butterfly, and was full of stories of things she had been up to, virtually and in real life, whereas my news was that I had read some good books and done some DIY. It made me feel a bit envious, although i'm pretty sure that if I had her social life it would drive me mad, but also made me feel a bit boring. Do other introverts feel the same way or are you able to embrace your alone time with confidence?

No I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything. When I hear what other people have been doing I’m usually thinking ‘thank god I didn’t have to go to that!’.

I’ve always pushed myself to be social. Lockdown has made me realise how peaceful and content life could be if I just allowed myself to be the person I am. I’m married with a DS so I’ll continue to push myself for their sakes. DH can take it or leave it though so once DS is off doing his own thing I’m planning on allowing myself to be more introverted.

I'm an introvert. It's taken me years to feel comfortable as people made me feel weird for my introverted ways and longing to be alone.

It's each to their own and your social butterfly friend will get lots of energy from socialising and planning lots of things. Whereas introverts feel drained by social butterflying. Neither are wrong, but I have never felt like I am missing out because I am doing the things which interest me.

A little bit at times, but ultimately I prefer being alone so there's no point me envying someone for doing what I'd rather not do anyway. However, I've realised over the years that I do need to put myself out there more and network, as positive things have always happened when I do. It's such an effort though as I'm going against what I naturally want to do.

God no. Sitting here listening to a load of neighbours outside together and I'm happy as Larry in doors reading a book. Each to their own.

I never feel like I’m missing out but I worry that people think I’m weird and often don’t have much to say - that’s usually not a problem though if you ask people a few questions, I find most people relish the chance to talk about themselves! I do wish I could talk about myself for ages but I’ve got nothing to say. I just find socialising so exhausting, I’m already dreading the return to not working from home, the thought alone of all the small talk is draining.

I don't really. I am an introvert but I do the things I enjoy. Sometimes I wish I didn't find taking the first steps in new things quite so terrifying, but generally I am happy to do social things that I actually like. For example, I joined a new cycling group a few years ago and the first time I went was awful, I was so stressed. But I have made some really nice friends and now I am an established part of the group that's fine and I really enjoy going for rides with them. But if they all decided to go on a night out I probably wouldn't go. I would find that uncomfortable even with people I know, as it would be a situation I don't like.
I don't feel that being an introvert stops me doing the things that I want to do, but it does make it hard for me to tolerate things that I don't want to do. Lots of people don't believe that I am an introvert because I don't always come across as "shy". For instance I am a confident public speaker, a good chair of meetings etc but I find all that easy because I am in control, and still separate from people. I would far rather give a lecture to a thousand people than sit in a pub with half a dozen. The thing I hate most is when people try to make me socialise because they think its good for me. I have a colleague who I like very much and who I am sure means very well, but who constantly invites me to things because she believes I "need a break" from my family.

Agree, introvert is not the same as shy. I am friendly and warm and can be talkative - not typical introvert. But I love my alone time and its here my focus and energy tends to be - reading, thinking, writing, exercise, prayer sometimes, cooking, tv, decorating etc.

HOWEVER, I think some of the confusion is what constitutes "extrovert" activities. Sitting in a pub talking to a group of acquaintances is good for me for about 15 minutes. Its more people watching really! Then I usually feel the need to leave ...

But some social activities I MIGHT like. Singing in a group perhaps? Praying in a group sometimes. Something like that. But socialising for the sake of it feels a bit weird to me unless there is something else going on e.g. walking, dancing

Gosh that was long!

I realised something significant not too long ago. I only tended to say yes to social things if alcohol was involved. Not because I’m shy, although I’m an introvert I can talk to anyone. Not because I thought it made me more fun. It was because social things bored me to tears and alcohol got me through it! On occasions where I could only have a drink or two I’d be ready to head home by 9pm. So I decided not to force myself anymore. It means some friendships have drifted but I don’t miss them. They’re nice people and I wish them no harm, but I just don’t need them in my life. I think lockdown really cemented that for me. So no I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything.

@CandidaAlbicans2

A little bit at times, but ultimately I prefer being alone so there's no point me envying someone for doing what I'd rather not do anyway. However, I've realised over the years that I do need to put myself out there more and network, as positive things have always happened when I do. It's such an effort though as I'm going against what I naturally want to do.

+ 1

I’m an introvert and at an age (60) where I no longer care. I’ve accepted I am what I am (I’m currently researching WW2 War Diaries 😀).
I could improve my social life but I don’t want to - I find being social/going to the pub/meeting people boring and I don’t want any friends who might start nagging me to ‘do stuff’.
As previously said - ‘each to their own’.

Yes I'm an introvert and I feel I miss out because I don't participate enough with my social group and as a consequence I'm often not invited to things now . In my group there's an expectation of being chatty and staying at an event (e.g. BBQ/party) for very many hours and I struggle with that and get lots of 'you're not leaving already are you!?')