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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Do I still encourage dc to see their dad?

4 replies

Theodoreb · 31/07/2020 14:36

He saw them last on December the 17th and hasn't seen them since he phoned only once a month and I've only ever said he couldn't have the dc once and I had good reason he had canceled a visit over Christmas and was due to have them nye but I didn't want them let down so took them to Alton Towers for the weekend.

Problem is he is not consistent he doesn't phone often or text and every time he texts dc hearts are lifted then shattered again when he just fucks off.

Do I keep encouraging contact or stay out of it? Or do I start telling him he needs to put in more effort if he wants to see dc?

OP posts:
Louise91417 · 31/07/2020 14:41

I would just stay out of it and let it run its own course. You shouldnt have to tell him to make an effort. Its hard to watch your children disappointed but you cant fix this situation. Sounds like he will just stop bothering altogether, which would probably be for the best..

Spied · 31/07/2020 14:46

I'd not tell them of any plans or that he had text until he actually turns up to see them.
I would be asking him on the phone not to tell them when he is visiting in case he can't make it and you are left picking up the pieces when they are sad.
I'd not be encouraging anything.

chipsandpeas · 31/07/2020 14:51

how old are they?

Theodoreb · 31/07/2020 15:08

DS is 14, Dd1 is 11 and Dd2 is 8.

Just breaks my heart wish he would make his mind up one way or another.

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