Am I over reacting ? Cam girl site.

[Talkingtothebirds]

Ok so bit of background: bf very very secretive with phone. We had an argument two weeks back. He stayed at his parents. I was Ill that day and got an early night.

Fast forward to today. He asked me to take some photos. I was in the folder and there was a ‘hidden photos’ file I’d never seen before. I guess curiosity got the better of me. I looked. Well, there’s lots of recordings from a site called chatturbate - seems that’s cam girls? These he viewed on the night he stayed at his parents. Some pretty sick stuff. More disturbingly there’s tons of videOs he made of himself masturbating, using a pump, putting something in his penis (metal thing? Pushing it out).

I couldn’t keep this to myself. I’m devastated. I asked him why he made them - was he posting them to someone or sending to the site? I don’t know how it works. He swears blind not. He says he doesn’t know and he doesn’t see the difference between cam
Girls and porn. I have always been clear that if he ever watched a cam girl I’m out. I told him so much today. He thinks I’ve massively over reacted. I’m absolutely gutted.

As soon as I told him he deleted them all - dodgy as anything right - so I can’t go check if he’s posted on the site.

I don’t feel like I want to carry on. My self esteem is low as it is and this feels like the final blow. He knew I had a no no to cam girls and although he didn’t agree he did it anyway. So MN please give it to me straight. If I’m over reacting please tell me and I’ll listen. Thank you xxx

[namechange12a]

OP it doesn't matter how he used them, where he used them, with whom he used them - what does it matter?

The fact is, he used them after you explicitly asked him not to and told him it was a dealbreaker. You can't trust him and he'll just do it again once he knows you set boundaries and don't stand by them.

[Chitlin]

Knowing more won't bring you any 'satisfaction', OP. It'll just make you feel worse and worse.

Cut this loser off, stat.

[TheVanguardSix]

If he's filming himself doing sword flips with his cock, OF COURSE he'll think you're overreacting. God, it all sounds just so grim.

You had set the boundaries, he broke them... massively. You wouldn't want to make this work, would you? He sounds disgusting.

[SenselessUbiquity]

What is... sword flips? What is the metal thing?

[Talkingtothebirds]

I know I know but solid proof that he’s uploading videos is another level

[ShitStain]

He made the videos and pics to send to others. In return for their pics and videos.

[Aquamarine1029]

I know I know but solid proof that he’s uploading videos is another level

If he hasn't uploaded them you would stay with him? I really hope that's not what you're implying. Isn't he disgusting enough already?

[SepticTankYank]

@RLEOM

Cam girls are as good as sexual encounters. Porn, fine. Cam girls, no.

This!

There was a recent thread about this website that caused a discussion with DP. He thought these types of websites are non issues. I said it's cheating. He said he would be angry if I joined and watched a man dance for me but would forgive it but couldn't forgive me texting Barry down the road for these things. Men are weird.

Get out. You won't be able to trust him and you set a boundary that he knowingly crossed!

[RustyLeesBogBrush]

@SenselessUbiquity

What is... sword flips? What is the metal thing?

I am just guessing, but the metal thing sounds like sounding. It is when a metal rod is inserted into the urethra.

[lazylinguist]

Do you really need another level? You had a very reasonable boundary. He knowingly crossed it. Would you ever be able to forget about this? I know I wouldn't.

[Talkingtothebirds]

No either way I’m out. It just feels more tangible if I can get proof he’s shared the vids. I don’t know.

[Talkingtothebirds]

Shitstain - can u do that via chatturbate.

[GilbertMarkham]

putting something in his penis (metal thing? Pushing it out)

Sounds quite extreme.

That would put me off full aside from everything else.

[GilbertMarkham]

I am just guessing, but the metal thing sounds like sounding. It is when a metal rod is inserted into the urethra

Bizarre.

My dp was utterly freaking out at the thought of a cotton swab going in there during the DTD screen I insisted on when moving to sex without condoms.

[GilbertMarkham]

STD screen obviously.

[GilbertMarkham]

The likelihood of him sharing the videos is high.

You don't need to confirm it.

He's already been on sites/services you made clear were unacceptable to you (and very reasonably so imo).

[ShitStain]

I don’t know that site to be honest but I can’t imagine why else he would be making vids and pics unless he sends them to you.

[CrazyToast]

Chatturbate isn't an organised cam girl site. It's a site for regular people (non sex-workers) who sign on to chat to other people while masturbating. There is a group chat facility but you can also do one on one private chats. You can give 'tips' to people as you chat so it is possible to make money off it. Not that this distinction matters necessarily in terms of it being cheating, but just for information this is how it works. It is all done live but people could send videos and photos outside of the live chats I suppose.

If he has been on chatturbate he has mutally masturbated with someone while chatting directly with that other person. He may or may not have paid them or been paid himself Most people would class this as cheating and different to porn, and it could be accessing sex work or being a sex worker himself.

Sounds like you arent ok with this so it is good you are ditching him.

[combatbarbie]

The metal thing suggests fetish/bdsm which in itself is not a big deal (to me anyway) but from the very little info you've given I'd assume he was making videos for a Domme. Main site for that is fetlife.... Like plenty of fish but for bdsm.

If you think he's physically cheating the main site where you can upload is fab swingers.

[Closetbeanmuncher]

What a loser..

Bin.