My friend Jane has been with Tom for 8 years.
They were due to be married Feb 2021 but Tom’s mental health has been really bad and he wants to postpone the wedding.
In my time of being friends with Jane, Tom has cheated on her, he has hit her and Jane calls me on average once a year with the relationship under strain with threats to split up. He shows her no compassion when she is poorly and lately had an epileptic fit, fell down the stairs and cracked her head open :( Tom downplayed the whole thing.
Jane is high up in her career, kind, good looking and artistic and creative. She’s sociable and has a lot of friends.
Tom works in a shop and mostly plays video games. He doesn’t have any friends but is close to his mum. He struggles with his mental health, we think he might have borderline personality disorder. Obviously that’s really tough but Jane is there to be a supportive partner, not his therapist.
I want Jane to realise she could do SO much better than Tom.
She’s so scared of being alone and letting go of 8 years and she says she’s loves Tom but Tom doesn’t find her attractive. He is obsessed with the gym and has openly told Jane he doesn’t find her attractive! So theyd pretty much be looking at a sexless marriage which to me is enough to call it a day...
Obviously I’m writing on someone else’s behalf so the story is mostly just factual but I’ve seen so many stories like this on here and I just don’t know how to make her see sense and leave for good...