Think this was a hurtful thing to say

[Desiderata8]

Guy I have been seeing, few weeks in and I stayed at his. I said it was a big deal for me to do that and he seemed to get cold feet, basically started trying to build me up in a really crude way and felt very impersonal. Complimented me on my physical characteristics and said that I was "hot" and a "generic hot girl".

Quite upset by this, especially the word generic, needless to say have let things slide. He wasn't looking for a s/t thing but that was what it became, he made me feel so disposable

Also this was off the back of quite a few dates and lots of chat. So hardly a one-off thing

Definitely red flag. Not exactly a compliment is it.. a generic hot girl. -_-

No, it's horrible! Thanks xx

It made me feel rubbish

That’s grim. I wouldn’t want to be a generic anything, but that feels like he doesn’t respect women much.

Who would say that? Is his English not very good? Did he maybe mean "genuine hot girl"?

@BraveGoldie I wish!! No, a native English speaker

He probably didn't use the word right, probably thought it meant something else.

Thanks everyone but definitely think he did use it right unfortunately, he's very educated. I think it highlighted that Im not special. He is quite clumsy with words but far from inarticulate (as in, no filter... But tells it like it is!!)

He may be educated but he's not very smart with people. Unless his intention was to put you down. Let me tell you - you are special, don't let this get you down. I reckon you can do better.

Thanks Buttery, thats very kind! Deep down I know I have a lot to offer but yes it did hurt. I think he probably was subconsciously trying to put me down, to warn me off getting closer. I hate him

"He probably didn't use the word right, probably thought it meant something else."

This, I think. Have things gone well otherwise?

Does he actually know what generic means?

What an idiot. You’re better off without him!

@Dery

"He probably didn't use the word right, probably thought it meant something else."

This, I think. Have things gone well otherwise?

Haha no, this was in the wider context of him being scared of the fact i seemed to want commitment/things looked like they were heading there. He had been gunning for it the whole time but did a 180 when I tentatively met him halfway. Started saying things like "lets take things slowly" and "you know we're not together now" despite going on dates/taking me places/saying he was ready for something and asking me what I wanted before this. Basically I could have been anyone to him shrug

I would dump him for being rude and utterly charmless. Who cares if he has cold feet. He has no idea how to talk to people...none at all...and he simply isn't worth your time. He sounds like a 16 year old boy lusting after the hot girls in gym class. He really isn't up to scratch. Education and money do not equate to class....this guy has no class.

Ah, you mean he was chasing you hard until you slept together, and then he pulled back?

Basically one of those guys that wants to get you, and loses interest when you are hooked. Wanker.

Never mind, op.

Emotionally unavailable and avoidant

Ah right, dick! The good thing is you found out early :)

That's a crappy thing to say.
I was on holiday with someone I thought was relationship material only to overhear him describe me as 'not my girlfriend just a bit of fun' Ouch!

He is a twat - anything coming out of his twat gob is twat talk. Block him and move on to greater things.