Dating offline

[Anotherfreshstart]

I thought it might be nice to start a thread for those of us dating without going online. I know many people like OLD but many, like me, find it tough, anxiety-provoking and time-consuming.

So what are our ideas and experiences for meeting people offline? It might be more difficult now with the pandemic but I firmly believe it’s not impossible.

All ideas & experiences welcome.

These are my ideas:

1. Solo lunch dates. Getting out there in the big bad world will increase our chances of meeting someone.
2. Regular walks outdoors.
3. Joining a club or group (not too sure about this in the current climate. Has anyone else done this recently?).
4. Saying yes to all opportunities to socialise.

Sorry but whats OLD ?

@Steph777 - On-line Dating

Ahh i see ... thought it was an actual dating site. Thankyou

I met my current bf last year in the car park of our apartment block, when he helped me with a flat tyre 😂. It can happen when you least expect it 🤷‍♀️

@sosickofthisshit

That is such a gorgeous story!!! As you say, when you least expect it!!

I’m also going to maximise any opportunities to talk to men and people in general: I’m going to try to be my most outgoing self when I’m out of the house.

Following intently as I also don't like OLD. The ghosting, matches who don't respond, dick pics, etc, STRESS ME OUT!

I met my now DH at work. It was a bit risky as I knew I'd still see him if it didn't work out, but OTOH I knew what he was like round other people and I had a chance to get to know him gradually before taking the plunge and seeing him out of work.

I could never have met someone online. I'm not conventionally attractive and I take a long time to get to know someone. Also I'm not good at long conversations! I feel incredibly lucky to have met such a good'un though - there seems to be a scarcity! Good luck, OP and enjoy!

@liklypaddy

I agree. OLDating can be stressful and we don’t have to go through that again! We do need to ‘put ourselves out there’ in other ways though without it taking over our lives.

@CharlotteCollinsneeLucas

That’s lovely and I agree about the advantage of seeing him around other people. That’s why the real world can be handy: you see who people really are instead of them telling you who they are.

I hate OLD, full of terrible people. I did it before meeting my ex. Would be interested to see peoples ideas, though I am in France so makes it doubly difficult.

Yeah there’s got to be another way. A lot of people meet by chance but leaving the house is a big part of it and that has got harder with the pandemic all right!

Can I join? I've decided to give up online dating too as so far its been a disaster. Endless ghosting and guys looking for one night stands has put me right off it. I agree with taking every opportunity to socialise as we wont meet anyone stuck in the house. None of my friends have any single male friends sadly but any ideas to meet someone naturally would be great.

@Mermaidwaves

I hear you! When people are loved up, I think they think OLD is a magic pill. I had no idea what it’d be like until I actually did it & I really don’t fancy doing it again.

Lots of people do still meet in other ways. This might sound crazy but I think part of it is really believing it’ll happen! Law of Attraction style-ee. I have this optimism about it now. I imagine myself with someone & happy (but I’m still healing from my marriage).

It does help if work or mutual friends are possibilities for meeting people: I don’t have either of those avenues open to me for meeting people right now either but the more we do, the more opportunities we’ll have.

Can I join too? I love the idea of a happy yet random encounter. I think being fit and excusing a happy energy is crucial.

Friends of friends is a really good way to meet men, mention to good friends that you're looking to meet someone and see if any of them can suggest a date for you

I like the idea of a positive attracting energy, it has to be better than feeling sad that I won't meet anyone which I'm afraid I'm guilty of sometimes! I work with mainly older happily married women so no potential from there. A random encounter would be ideal, I wonder how realistic it is though.

@OhioOhioOhio

I agree: being fit is top priority! I’m going to start a new exercise regime and focus on getting in the best shape of my life (at least that’s the plan right now!). I can’t think of any drawbacks of being fit and toned...well, apart from working out

@MissSmiley

Yes: there’s no point in keeping it a secret. You never know.

@Mermaidwaves

I’m the same: work is a no no as I too work mostly with married women! It’s a pity that Avenue is closed off to us but ...

Believing it’ll happen has been helping me change my frame of mind. Have you heard of Marissa Peer? Check her out on YouTube. She talks a lot about self-praise. It feels goofy at first but then it starts working! We’ve nothing to lose by imagining the best will happen.

Random encounters are a long shot but I know I need to widen my net. I’m very very shy and am going to try to conquer that a little by going out of my comfort zone. Joining a gym will be step 1.

It's hard work whether you are shy or not. I'm massively overweight. I need to address that before I could consider that I exude that relaxed joy that looks so attractive.

I am massively overweight too and i feel this affects my self confidence and how I carry myself. I've been told I can look stand offish in social situations, but the reality is I feel extremely self conscious about my size! This probably does affect meeting men as I come across unapproachable? I really need to work on that.

Watching with interest!! OLD is totally depressing, but apart from work (and the cute apartment car park story) actually don't know how to meet people these days (friends are married off with kids)