am I being played?

[Flute56]

I use chat rooms and got chatting to someone and we got on well. We were getting to know one another and I asked the usual questions like what do you like to do etc. This person told me where they lived and some of their interests and then I asked them what their real name was because you do not really use your real name on a chat site. Then they said to me I get the feeling you are trying to search me?!?

I said no of course not then they said what is your real name and I told them and then they disappeared? Should I be suspicious. They have not been back onto the chat since yesterday morning and my friend thinks it is fishy. I am inclined to think something happened but my friend thinks they have something to hide because why would they just vanish and not come back.

Defo something to hide. Why would he not say? And of course you search people before you meet up. He should know that

Yup, sounds dodgy. If nothing else the taking umbrage at you wanting to know their name suggests he would be an exhausting pain in the ass to date.

It was a woman not a man, and before anyone suggests it was a woman posing as a man, it was not because I am a bi woman and this was a lesbian chat room so she was gay.

We chatted and she said we should meet and go shopping at some point. I agreed to this and then as soon as I asked what her name was she got a bit defensive but then as soon as I asked her she said I get the feeling you are trying to search me and then she asked me what my name was and I told her. Then she vanished. I am inclined to think she has internet problems because that has happened to me before. My intenret went down for three days all of a sudden because there was an outage in my area and then it got fixed so I am wondering if that has happened. If she does return, then I will ask her what happened

Sounds more like a power play.

Sorry but even if she does come back with some excuse, I'd write her off. She wouldn't tell you her name but expected you to tell her yours. Sounds like an asshole.

Yeah, that sounds like games to me. Too much drama already. Or she’s on a relationship already and doesn’t want you to fb stalk her and find out.

You are probably aware of this, but a surprisingly high number of people in lesbian/bi women chat rooms are actually me. Some of them get off on pretending to be women, some are "fascinated" by the idea of lesbians and "just enjoy talking to them", some are hoping to steer the convo onto sex, and some are full of misogyny and hatred.

Don't assume that someone you're chatting to is who they say they are, ever.

Omg, "are actually MEN" not "are actually me"!!!

Lmao, as if I had time to be all of them...

It could be something innocent, or it might not be. There are plenty of lesbians ghosting nowadays. I wouldn't have been bothered if you'd asked my name. 🤣

If I do see her again, I will ask her why she disappeared because I feel I am owed an explanation if nothing else

update:

She logged into the chat this morning and so I asked her to explain her behaviour beore and she did not even respond. Then she vanished out of the room.

you asked her to explain her behaviour....

don’t be daft

no i just said what happened the other day because you disappeared without a word and did I upset you?

If I had behaved like that to someone i would be too embarrassed to go back into the chat room again