I ended it

[Fuckmyliferightnow]

I'm not sure if anyone remembers me, but I've posted numerous times about my bully DP, who has cheated for the last 18, lied and gaslit me too.
After Xmas I stopped sleeping with him and have gone grey rock since.

In the last month 2 condoms have gone missing out of my bedside drawer, I confronted him the other night and he lied again and called me, stupid, paranoid and even mentally ill, he also said I'm just making it up. He doesn't know where they went.
There is us two and our 9 year old only in the house, and I haven't used them

In his argument he got personal, went through my family, my childhood and said I'm just miserable because I didn't do well at school and haven't got a proper career.
I didn't want my child and I resent them for being born.
You name it, he said it.

So I said it's over, he cried, got angry and went through all the motions.

I am stuck in the house with him for the time being.
He said he will do whatever it takes to make sure I don't take our child, even quit his job.

Apart from that I feel like I've jumped a massive hurdle.

I stayed strong and played him at his own game.

Everything is emotional and verbal. How am I so sucked in by his words?
I refuse to let him win me over this time, with his nice guy act.

@GhostOfMe hi. There's just nothing at the minute, also I'm about to apply for a new job so I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed too.

For such a quiet person how have I managed to attract so much hurt and drama?

You say that your DC and his father are close and you need to stay in the area. Do you think your partner is a good role model to your DC? Do you want your DC spending lots of time with him? I suggest you stop telling him your plans and move about an hour away, but close to any supporting friends and relatives you may have. As this is likely to get ugly, he will probably get the contact hours that a court decides.
Do you need advice from Women's Aid on how to make a clean break?
I also wonder why you cared that he is sleeping with someone else. Do you feel jealous? You should examine your feelings over that. If you had truly checked out of the relationship you wouldn't have cared or confronted him. You'd have hoped that he goes and shacks up with the other woman. A fresh start in a new property might be costly and you'd lose the chance to pay off a mortgage and live rent free in your old age. So really examine any opportunity of him going and you getting a lodger to help pay the mortgage until you are in full-time employment.

All this "suicide threats" stuff I read on these threads.

What is going on with these men? What is wrong with them?

Is this a new kind of modern caper to get your way? It seems v common on alot of threads. I find it very weird.

Anyway, OP, you do what you think is right. Bottom line and end of. Especially for you and your child.

@DianaT1969 I am desperately hoping he shacks up with her. I hate him. I don't feel jealous, I've been looking for a reason to end it and the condom argument gave me that in.
My DC is the only person I'm thinking about in all this.
I feel I need to tread carefully, I've already boxed my valuable possessions because I know it will get ugly.
I wish people knew how being emotionally abused and manipulated affects your confidence, it weakens you over time. Ending it has given me a bit of control and strength back.

I'm glad that you aren't jealous OP. I wasn't sure from your post as it was the condom argument that prompted the final separation.
Good luck 💐 I'm sure you will be much happier with your DC in your own place. Reach out for support from Women's Aid or friends and family.

Can you slowly move your stuff out to your parents, friends houses until you get a place. Then if you have to go quickly it's less to pack and take.

At least pack and move out any paperwork you need, birth certificates, passports, car details.

@DianaT1969 thank you. I have told some friends and family, just not my parents. I'm dreading that, it's yet another disappointment 

@Greenkit I have packed 2 big boxes of all my sentimental belongings, like gifts or luxuries that I treasure, he will use these things against me.
I have more boxes so I can pack more things this week. I will store them at my brother's until I can move out.

Good idea.
Can your brother take you and your boy in temporary?

Unfortunately not. Also they all live 80 miles away, I've been told by the solicitor if I move far away straight away it could go against me if it gets to court. I need to move locally but not too close that he can still bully me.