just wanted a pasty and a cup of tea !!!!

[EvesMama]

went into bakers oven with dd and dp other day (mil, who is spawn of devil works in another of their branches)when woman who i knew through mil said hello and came over to see dd.
she then blanked me(probably becasue mil says to anyone wholl listen that i tore her family apart and she should have stronger bond with dd than me!)and said to dp, have you been to see your mam. dp said no and she replied well you only have one mother!!!
obviously this stupid woman thinks there is only one side to every story...what does she mean, only one mam? as opposed to he could have other dp's or dd's?
mil is horrible woman who physically abused her daughter and my dp, sil also never sees her and at dd christening totally ruined day by making hurtful comments and embarresing us all day.
killing me not confronting the witch but dp says that will add fuel to the fire....dont have good relationship with own mother so could really have done with one of them, but both a nightmare...can i move on?

hi evesmama, i think the woman must have been told by your mil that your dp hardly sees him (if that is the case) and was commenting that because he only has one mother, he should be seeing her more. Or at least thats the impression i get. And with the comments that your mil has tore up the family, she's probably jealous and blames you that she hardly sees your dp. Of course it's always better to pass the blame on to someone else isnt it? I don't know what you can suggest, but confronting her could make things worse like your dp says. Unfortunately, I think the best way is to grin and bear it, or at least thats what i do. Sorry if not very helpful. xxx

Yes, I bet MIL has only given her version so why should this woman know any better.

I do feel for you, we don't speak to dh's parents because they accused me of a whole lot of disgusting behaviour, none of which was true. But since we fell out people have been coming out of the woodwork and telling us that they remember snide remarks from my PIL dating right back to when we were engaged. DH says that to him they are dead and there is nothing that can be done about it.

It is totally unfair when someone you hardly know takes sides like this but the main thing is that DP is on your side and that is the only thing that really matters. I'm sure there isn't a person walking the planet who has never been unfairly judged in some way but if your nearest and dearest have faith in you and are loyal no one can touch you. xxx

ooooh horrid, evil woman!!
I had MIL like that... cow on wheels! She would do/say anything to get between us or set one against the other. I got rid when I got rid of xdh... thank god. I'm lucky enough now to have inlaws that don't expect and don't crowd. They are welcome in our lives, as we are in theirs.

Best thing for you to do is ignore it if you can. Can you talk to dp about how this makes you feel? Try not to alienate him from her even more than she has done so already, by the sounds of things.
This other woman sounds as pathetic as your MIL. Is it worth wasting your energy on either of them?
Put it to more positive things... you and your family.
{{{{HUGE HUGS}}}}

thanks girls..didnt even know if that post made any sense i was so wound up when i wrote it!

me and dp do talk about it, in fact thats what half the problem is, she's caused so much crap its been keeping us churning since dd was very small.
a comment made at dd's christening...dp aunty said to mil whilst we were up at front...doesnt our steven look handsome up there, you must be so proud of him with his little family and mil said no...the good looking ones at home!(dp's layabout 33 year old brother, who never has a girlfriend only gos to old mens clubs and talks to mil like crap!..oh and was too busy to come to his nieces christening!), she even tried to blank her own daughter who we had got in touch with since having dd as they had also had fall out(she used to physically and mentally abuse her..only found this out since got back in touch).

with me though, i dont like people thinking bad of me... i try really hard to help people out and have contacted mil many times before christening, but dp didnt want to bother with her..weve even been talking about it today again and dp said that because we know what we know now about what happend to sil(dp never knew anything..she was very sly!)i couldnt chance my precious little daughter being subject to that horrible woman.
shes pure evil and i feel like telling her opinionated mates that but shes already sewn her poisenous seeds..it wouldnt be worth it...let just say ill be getting my pasties from greggs in future and eating it on the park bench with the wino's!!ha ha better company!LOL

LOL - you seem to have your head screwed on the right way tho. DOn't let the b*stards grind you down hun.
God, she sounds like my exMIL... gives me the creeps just thinking about it.
She used to do the same sort of things to me and my ex... so sly. I would mention something to him and he thought I was crackers or something similar... said his mother wouldn't do things like that. In the end, I gave up. It was beginning to make me look like the one with the problem.
All I can suggest hun, is that you use that energy you are festering for her and use it positively in "wrapping" yourself round your dp, especially when she or her mates are around. Grin inanely at her - over do it if you have to. As long as dp can see (on the outside) that you are making the effort.
I know it sounds cruddy but she isn't going to last as long as your dp... build some real strong bonds between you two, and forget her.
Big breafs.
and GRIN

i'm just evil, but i;d report the women to her boss for making horrible/hurtful/unnesscery comments to customers.

did you get your pasty and tea btw?

agree with misdee. that woman is there to sell pasties, not alienate customers!

Think your best way forward is to ignore her dp is prepared to do this for you and your dd - very hard when you know someone is beiing unfair about you but often teh best policy. the other lady may have been trying to make chat and did noot mean anything by what she said she may not be aware of teh situation , best to be nice to people adn show them all that your MIl is unhinged to think badly of you

jojo38, misdee, mts and gothic mama...
thanks for that!

we dont see her at all unless we cross paths in supermarket as dp feels more strongly against her than me after finding out what she did to his sister, but it still causes stress for us as dd has no grandads(both 'bad' people, long since gone) and my mum might as well have followed suit, the amount she bothers...but we discussed the other day after me thinking i might speak to her, that i would never, ever want my dd putting in same position as sil so thats that!

hmmmm, if i do go back(nice new cafe apart from nosy bloody staff!) and she mentions it again, i may be temped to tell her to mind her own business or ill go to her boss!, i did get my pasty by the way...it was gorgeous despite having nearly choked on it...cheese and onion bake-would recommend, just dont go to middlesbrough branch!

dp also thinks best to ingnore, as then one day they also may realise HOW unhinged she is and if i kicked off, i would be living up to my alledged name wouldnt i?

silly cows, sod em...
but thanks girls, really helped getting your opinions

oooh sat drooling now thinking of those pasties...huff