Not sure what's going on

[IfIcouldstartlifeover]

I have name changed because I need some advice on something I don't want linked to my normal name.
I am so sorry if it is long. I am so confused and upset at the moment.

I ended it with my children's dad three years ago, he was a horrible bully, and we are currently going through the courts to sort out contact.
I initiated that so was quite proud of myself.
I have a partner who I live with but increasingly I feel he is becoming harder to be easy around.
I am currently out of a job but looking as I was let go from the one I had during lockdown.
I understand that he is stressed lockdown has been tough, and there are money worries.
When we disagree, I feel that he doesn't listen to what I say in answer to things he asks me.
So for example last night he asked me why I had "stomped off"
Well for two reasons for me walking away one being I didn't want to argue as he has told me before that I am always starting arguements. And also I didn't like the way he was talking to me.
He had decided something which fair enough as an adult he can do whatever he wants but I was told to not question it and just accept it. I don't think that's how you talk to someone when you are meant to be in a partnership.
I told him this and he just kept going on about how I didn't want him to go away (for work) and that he has offered to have my kids so that I could do the same.
I didn't have a problem with him going but he refused to believe that, it was like he wanted me to have a problem.
He accused me of being jealous.
And decided that my answer to him wasn't right.

A couple of weeks ago he told me I was annoying him, but that he didn't know how or what I was doing, but that I should stop it and when he figures it out he'll let me know what it is.

He says things then denies he says them, when I say or do something he tells me the way I meant it, if I tell him he is wrong he won't accept that.

I don't understand what's happening.
He said last night that no one has supported him in the way I do.
If there is anything he is not happy with I work it so hopefully he is but if I raise something I don't get that in return.

Its like he is pushing me away but I don't know why.
He still tells me he loves me although not like he used to.
He did tell me weeks ago that sometimes he feels as if I don't like him, so I've made the effort to tell him the opposite more.

I have always still told him I love him and how attractive I find him.
I haven't changed really I haven't.

I am so sad and upset I can't work out what's wrong, maybe it's the stress because of everything but maybe it's something more.
I feel like I'm losing my mind.

You've got yourself another idiot, my lovely. Your gut is telling you this, so listen to it and do what you have to do.

"You've got yourself another idiot, my lovely. Your gut is telling you this, so listen to it and do what you have to do."

This. He's playing games and the fact that you feel like you're losing your mind is a clear indicator of this. That is how people in abusive relationships feel. People in healthy relationships don't feel like that about their partner.

"I don't understand what's happening.
He said last night that no one has supported him in the way I do."

Abusers look for someone who will put themselves second the whole time and prioritise the abuser. A healthy relationship does not rquire partners to do that.

FFS...you are still sorting out the last idiot you got rid of and then immediately acquired another one.

It's a bit like women who are victims of domestic violence who have a serial of abusers!

I didn't do this on purpose.
He was a friend and always understood and was so kind and helpful.
I didn't know I was going to feel like this.

You know about abuse already.
This is just more subtle right now.
The gaslighting to send you mad.
The wanting himself as your top priority and sod you.
What is the living situation?
You've gone from 100% abusive bully to 70%.
It's still abuse.
Recognise it. Deal with it and do what you have to do to get yourself out of it!

I feel like I'm losing my mind.
Once you start to feel like this then you need to get out of the relationship.
This is not good at all and things will only get worse.
He twists what you are saying. He sounds to me like a manipulative bully.
I'm afraid types like this prey on women who have lower self-esteem. They can see you coming. You got out of a relationship with the children's Dad where it sounds like he had worn you down too through his bullying. You didn't have time to work on yourself, to get your confidence back up etc.. and lo and behold, the next one comes along looking for someone he thinks he can bully and manipulate.
Please get rid of him and spend some time on your own. Once you believe in your own self-worth you are less likely to attract these horrible types.

I read what you post on here @hellsbellsmelons and you are always so right.

He moved into mine.
I am sitting in the garden crying now he is not talking to me

Honestly I thought I had this I never saw it coming that I would feel the same way with someone else.

I think I need help.

Get him out of your home and reclaim your life.