Not interested in DH grown apart? Sad :(

[Wellthisisrubbish]

Oh this is so so difficult.
I think I’ve grown apart from DH. We got together very young and have been together 20 years. I’m 39. We have two small boys.
I’m outgoing and sociable, he’s introverted and low self esteem.
I’m finding things are not great, we don’t laugh together much, I look at other coupleS on Facebook and wish I had someone who felt like a fun friend. I have much more fun with my friends than DH. Lockdown has been hard so maybe this has made it all feel worse.
Sexually I feel like I don’t fancy him any more. He’s always keen but Im just not feeling the spark, like I feel almost uncomfortable if we kiss full on. It’s not my sex drive- that is still there and I do have a bit of a crush which I’ve not acted on.
But I have two small children and I don’t want to be a single parent, I don’t want to split up their house. DH has terrible self esteem and a tendency to depression- he doesn’t cope well with stuff, I’m his only girlfriend and he says things like he’s never have found anyone if it weren’t for me. I can’t even begin to imagine what would happen if I told him how I feel. He’d be destroyed.
This is an impossible situation.

@Wellthisisrubbish
look at other coupleS on Facebook and wish I had someone who felt like a fun friend

Don't believe what you see on facebook. It is fake. I have been out for work meals with people and it's been okay and next minute ppl pull their phones out and all these screams and laughter take place as they take group photos. It was not as exciting as their fake photos make out.

Firstly Facebook is just the edited bits of peoples lives. I wouldn't for one minute be thinking that the glam, fulfilled bits you see on there are their everyday lives.
Do you and DH do things together, go out together alone or with other people?
Maybe you are just stuck in a rut.

I would actually insist your DH commits to weekly therapy/counselling for 6 months or so if you are at the point you want a divorce.

Sounds harsh but it's far cheaper than divorcing and even if you split he would hopefully be in a happier place.