Partner drinking alcohol to much

[Mummyofonelittleboy]

Hello,
I feel really stupid writing this but I’m literally so lost.
I have been with my partner for near on 11 years and we live in a house together along with our little boy.
During my pregnancy he began drinking really heavily at the weekends and did little to help me out. We was both living with parents and had to find a house. I did this on my own and when my baby arrived he eventually bought a house we all now live in. Which don’t get me wrong I am great full for.
When my little one arrived he seemed to really enjoy dad life still drinking at weekend etc but helped me out.
At the time I was quite post natal and would hate for my little one to be out of my sight so I use to be very emotional if anyone else wanted to even hold my son. Which he now uses against me.
My little one is now 3 and he is thriving and so clever. When my partner is sober he’s a great dad but he constantly drinks all the time. This week alone he has been drunk Wednesday,Thursday and today. He did not drink Friday and Saturday as he was having to work the night shift. He drinks about 12 cans every time he drinks. A usual weekend would consist of him drinking Friday Saturday and Sunday both morning or night. I literally do everything for our son and work full time as well. I’ve tried to approach him about it and he says I know I won’t drink so much. But when he’s drunk he tells me to leave cause it’s his house etc which is obviously is quite upsetting. Now I’m in a position after putting up with this for over 3 years I just wanna leave and get my own house. It all really does get me down. My family say your doing the right thing but I just can’t help but feel bad. I have tried to get help for his drinking but he doesn’t think there’s a problem. On a usual weekend I won’t put up with day drinking. Unless there is an occasion I don’t really see the need for it. I mean like I say to him why do you need to be drunk to play with your son or go to the park. But I can guarantee if I say this he will go upstairs and open a can in the sneak.

I guess I’m just babbling on but obviously I’m just asking if anyone has ever been through this and am I a horrible person for not wanting to go through this no more. I have told him I’ll leave before and because I haven’t he don’t believe me anyway. I am no way perfect and do get on at him abit for having a drink but this is cause I just don’t really understand.

Any help would be much appreciated and I am sorry if there is any spelling mistakes lol. It’s really late and I just can’t sleep with all this stress.

Hi just read your thread I can’t help that much as I am in a situation where I want to leave but I can’t but I hope you are able to do so hope you are ok I’m still awake I can’t sleep sending you good luck

No. You’re not a horrible person. He’s got a drink problem and he’s making you unhappy. This won’t improve. Make plans to leave.

He is dependent on alcohol.
You need to decide if that is a deal breaker for you. You won’t change him - he needs to
make that choice for himself.

I have been where you are and you have no reason to feel bad. In fact, staying with him would be the worst thing you could do, as he will continue to drink, and he will continue to try and blame you, and you will try and rescue him constantly from the consequences of his drinking, to try and keep up a semblance of an outwardly 'normal' life. And meanwhile your child is seeing all this and it is damaging him. Leave him and don't look back.

No, you are definitely not horrible. I’ve been there too and left, although it took me too long to finally do it.

Alcoholics don’t change, they generally get worse over time. If you do leave, you will be doing your mental health a big favour. You will also be helping your dc.

I imagine you handle pretty much everything on your own anyway? If so, you will be fine on your own and will also lift a big burden off your shoulders from dealing with this all the time.

I’d recommend speaking to a Family law solicitor (most do half an hour free). You will need advice to make sure contact with your little one is supervised.
Good luck!

As Alanon say, you didn't cause this and you can't control or cure his drinking. Don't involve yourself in the drama, and never argue with a drunk. Don't give him ultimatums or try and make deals. Just leave. What happens to him next, is entirely his choice.