Destined to be alone? Two children, one with special needs. Feeling a little glum today.

[Ashiia]

I've just seen an old friends engagement announced on Facebook and it's beautiful. Down on one knee, on the beach on holiday. I'm genuinely pleased for them.

It has got me to thinking however, that it'll probably never be me in that position.

I'm 26 so still relatively young. I have two children (one has special needs and caring for him is tough) and their dad turned out to be a commitmentphobe and a cheat. The opposite to what he pretended to be.

I wanted to get married, he didn't, but instead of being honest he strung me on for years telling me it would happen. Then cheated.

When I think about dating again eventually I just can't see anybody wanting to be with me for anything other than casual dating.

I have days where I struggle with the enormity of special needs parenting, and he's my sweet boy. I can't see anybody actively choosing a life with me, when mine is so difficult.

Am I being ridiculous to think nobody will ever want me (us)?

I think ... Your still so young. You have time for it to happen and I do think it can happen. I also have two DC and I'm on my own albeit im now in my 30s. I had my children in my 20s and still had positive relationships with guys who definitely wanted me and mostly it was me who ended the relationships.

I think I went through my 20s never feeling good enough because I had two DC and pushed people away and created reasons to not be in relationships.

Never feel like your not good enough. I'm now single but through the fact I feel like I deserve more than what I previously took.

I know your have a special needs DC too which must be very consuming but never feel not good enough. U need to make time though for you, easier said than done but the best advice I ever took was 'mr right is not going to knock on your window while your sitting at home' you do need to be proactive about going out on dates and putting yourself out there but u also need to be happy with yourself first so that you can make good choices.

I hope it works out for you !

Op, how old are your DC? How long have you been single? 26 is young, you've all the time in the world to meet someone.

Thank you for the replies

I've been single 7 months so not very long. I'm not looking to date anytime soon, in a couple of years perhaps. I'm nowhere near ready yet but was hoping I'm not 'at the back of the shelf' now due to how my life has panned out.

I was with ex DP for a long time, all of my adult life (from 18) and i thought this was our family and we'd be in it for keeps.

Knowing how difficult life can be for an SN parent and how all consuming it is I just can't imagine a man who isn't biologically related to the DC wanting to take on the responsibility.

My DC are 3 and 1.

Hopefully I'm wrong

I often have these thoughts and I am also 26 - it can be scary at times but please don’t worry. We are still so young! My best friend is 40 and she didn’t meet her now husband until 30+ and she just gave birth 4 months ago at 39 for the first time. There’s no timeline on our lives

You are still a babe, just make sure the ex is properly out of the way and not influencing your decisions about new friends.

It's suprising how many shit partners and dads feel they are able to prevent many young ladies from moving on.

It's normal to have down days especially as you have so much on your plate, two pre school children, one with special needs.

Bloody hell op you sound amazing.