Photos of ex's

[Festivalgirl83]

DP of 2.5 years moved in four months ago and we are in the process of buying our own place together. I've noticed on his laptop he has loads of albums, mainly of his daughter over the years which have lots of pics of his ex wife in. They split when she was one but all these photos between his DD being 1 and 5 which is when we met have lots of pics with the ex as well, I know they still had loads of days out and christmases together even after the split. Also he has an album of before they even had kids together at a concert.

I feel a bit uneasy about this, not sure why although I expect I will be told I'm insecure. I have no photos around or in my laptop of me and my exH I wanted to throw all my wedding pics away but my mum stopped me when she said my DD might want to see them one day.

I know people will keep photos that may have exes in, but seems odd to keep them on a laptop rather than stored in a loft like most people!

I have two huge photo albums of pictures of XH and ds. Some of them have me in them, before and after we split. Some of them have XH's partner in them. XH's partner put the albums together for ds on his birthday, which I thought was absolutely lovely.

They're actually sitting on the kitchen table right now. My partner looked through them with me the other week. He knows my relationship with XH is long dead and buried, but that these memories are important for ds still.

I also have pictures of other ex-partners. Quite a few in fact, packed away in boxes at the bottom of a wardrobe. If DH commented unfavourably or wanted me to get rid of them I'd be seriously considering our relationship. It's part of my life history which I have no intention of erasing. Doesn't mean I want anyone but him.

I cannot abide insecurity and jealousy over stuff like this. It's an absolute deal-breaker for me.

OP were you snooping on his laptop? I can't see how else you'd have found a number of such specific folders.

And what would you like him to do with the pictures you mentioned? They aren't framed, they aren't on show, they're saved on his laptop. Would you want him to delete them? How would that make you feel better?

But it’s photos of him though, yes she’s in them, but it’s unfair to expect him to hide them or delete them from his laptop as it’s his memory too. It’s not like he’s plastered them all over social media and duping people into believing they’re still together.

I used to delete photos with people I no longer speak to, but what’s the point? I’m deleting photos of me, what I looked like at a particular age or whilst I was at school/uni - my own memories etc. Now I regret that, I would rather just keep the pics so I can see them if I want to. It’s my life too.

I think the issue is you didn’t realise just how close he actually is to his ex, and maybe you feel a bit threatened about the status of your relationship, especially as you’re about to commit to buying a home

I know people will keep photos that may have exes in, but seems odd to keep them on a laptop rather than stored in a loft like most people!

Where else do people store photos these days if not on their computers? So you'd rather him to print out the photos and store them in the loft - that seems way odder to me than having them on his laptop 😂

I know people will keep photos that may have exes in, but seems odd to keep them on a laptop rather than stored in a loft like most people!

I’m in my early 20s and virtually every photo of me from the last 15 years is saved on my laptop. We’re in the digital world now hun, do keep up. The days of an abundance of photo albums lying around in the loft are over, or never even existed, for most of us.

Thank you for all the comments. I realise I sound dead old talking about photos on a laptop (I'm late 30's) I still like to print my pics though 😊.
I realise I have some feel as of insecurity and also have felt odd as one particular album (the concert) was a few years before they separated so wondered why that was on there as he had bought his laptop a few years after this when they had split.

Probably because he transferred all his pictures over from his previous laptop?

You haven't answered whether you found them by snooping or not, which suggests you did?

And also haven't said what you'd rather he did with them other than print them and put them in the loft, which would be more effort than them being on his laptop after a routine data transfer from his old laptop.

I wouldn't worry about it. My partner has pictures of his ex on his social media from Nights out and with there kids family / friends etc. I don't think it's anything to be worried about. As other posters said it's memories and don't think there would be anything to it especially as you said majority have his child in them.

When I read the thread title I thought he loads of files
Sonia In Mykonos

Nadia in Ibiza etc
But this is normal and healthy
It would be more of a toxic red flag to delete them I think

To the poster who asked if I snooped- no I didnt, I've seen them when he has shown me another album.

I don't understand what else you'd like him to do with them? He would have to delete them entirely for you to be at ease? They're just old pictures!