We've become like a team since having the kids. It feels like nothing bad has happened but we have fallen into a place which feels like we just live through the slog together.
We never get a break. Maybe twice a year for an afternoon. Other than that we are both full on parents. He works and I take on all other responsibilities. But he helps out with the kids too. He will do jobs around the home etc.
We had a good sex life before the kids. After our first that continued. But now I can't take hormones we need to use condoms. We've had sex just six times in 2.5 years. Lockdown has made things worse because the kids don't sleep as Great now. Always one waking up. It would be typical that we would be half way through and get interupted. Which really puts me off getting in the moment.
I find my partner always tries to kiss me or grabs my bum when I am in my pyjamas doing something like making dinner. I know he's trying to be sweet. But the kids are in the other room. If my five year old sees him put his arm around me or anything she tells him to get off me. She interupts all our conversations too. Our youngest is two and needs constant supervision.
We just seem to be together to clean up and work and care for the kids.
He's off work for a week and we are still finding our feet with lockdown. Not really sure where to take the kids with all the new queing/washing hands/tracking and tracing/social distancing and masks. I've thought about a farm that's local. But anything more than 45 minutes away feels too far with the restrictions. Plus one of the kids always seems to get travel sick. So long car journeys are abit stressful. We've been for a family walk through the woods today. Got back and I was trying to think how we could make it a nice day when we got back. Partner has sat on the sofa and put top gear on. So I've made a cuppa and I'm sat on my own whilst the kids are in the garden.
I am trying to figure out what's going on. We both do anything to help the other. But we both have got quite negative. He's always moaning his back aches and he's tired. I'm always moaning about the housework and the boredom and the kids not being asleep anymore until late. I honestly feel smoothered. I wake up to them calling me and crash when they finally crash.
I feel like once my youngest is at school we will feel more refreshed. As the kids get older and more able to amuse themselves or go to bed without help we will get our evenings back. Then maybe we can watch films and have sex and drink wine again. But it just seems impossible right now. It seems everyone else has their shit together and we don't. Everyone else seems to have date nights and weekends away. Even in lockdown people have had lovely evenings at home when the kids are in bed.
When we finally get the kids to sleep (lockdown insomnia) he will stay up late to watch family guy or something and I go to bed. He chooses to sleep on the sofa alot too because his snoring is so bad my daughter cries about it.
Does this sound like a dead end due to young kid? A relationship that's over?
I'm just bored. I want some excitement again. No idea where to start! Also he's such a bore with work talk. I've noticed when he rings his mum he's the same. He tells you really boring stuff that you can't understand unless you work in that field. I find myself switching off. I literally ignore him 90% of the time whilst he moans about Gavin in Kent and the software he has sold not working with the systems. Or the guy in Leeds who messed up the cables. He can drone on alot about companies and brands and types of cables and I have no idea or opinion because I'm not trained. I often find if I mention anything he goes back to comparing it to a work situation. I have told him off about it as it feels he's slipping off into work mode.
Anyone got any advice. Please me nice. I'm not sure how we got here apart from being tired parents too little people!