My Dad is very controlling

[lauren0134]

Hello

I'm 28 and have my own family
My dad has been very controlling since I was younger and never really let me live my own life

He was always controlling even in my teenage years

Now that I have my own family he still continues and gets involved with everything
Wants to know what's happening , turns up at my door without calling
Starts arguments over anything he doesn't like

He just wants to know everything I'm doing where I am who I'm with.
Tells me what to do with my son

I have told him this is unacceptable in the past and stopped speaking to him for 6 months over it but he said he would change so I gave him a chance again

A month passed and he was back to his old ways

Last week he just turned up at my house without calling or asking where we are and wanted to take my son to his house
Didn't even ask me if he should or not

I refused

Which turned into a huge argument
No matter how many times I tell him to stop he continues being the same

Wanted some advice on how to deal with this
I've tried speaking to him properly
He doesn't listen

He continues to turn up whenever he feels like it

Thank you for reading

Your dad has not changed one bit since your own childhood; he was controlling then and he certainly remains controlling now. Such behaviour is abusive towards you and in turn now your son.

He will never change and its not your fault either he is like this.

Protect yourself from such malign influences and at the very least you must not answer the door to him if he turns up. Block each and every way he has of being able to contact you. I would also consider calling the police and or solicitor and seeking their advice re his harassment because you have a right to a life without fear.

Low contact or better still no contact at all is the only way. For surviving arguments when they happen despite your best efforts to stay apart, look up 'grey rock' approach.

Also, yes this is abuse and you can involve police to stop him harassing you and your family.

He can only control you if you allow it. Clearly, it's time to go back to no contact. Your father is an abusive bully. If he shows up at your door, do not open it. You need to disengage from him.

Cut contact. If he continues to harass you then report to the police.