Calling out to all recently separated for help....please

[LuckyLinda3]

Hi all. My husband of 21yrs left in January. He has left and come back several times over the years. Myself (44) and the kids 19 and 14 are doing well. My only problem is he told me he is OLD and i cant get the idea of him with someone else out of my head. He is a good man but never fully committed to us and insisted on having a second address and spending his time on all the things he wanted to do. When im being realistic i know he was not putting effort into being a husband and partner. He never bothered to make time for us but happily talks to me with great energy about the passion he will put into his new relationship, getting the snip and the buzz of all the messaging. Why cant i see hes not the catch he thinks he is. One last thing im hung up on him coming back some day saying he made a mistake...all help greatly received.

I found it helped to remind myself of all the bad bits of my marriage and things I didn't like about DH. In fact I wrote a list! I still refer to it at times. Go low / no contact if you can. The kids are basically old enough to arrange contact etc with him directly. Start doing things just for you, perhaps that you weren't able to when you were married. Sending you a hand hold. I know how tough it is 💐

@Fairycake2

Thank you so much for replying. I'm so annoyed at myself as I kept letting him back in the past. Even now when I see him I feel sad for what I thought we could have. I just want to reach acceptance and be at peace with the fact that although he left me he wasnt actually worthy of me. .not to sound big headed. He told me recently that he had no physical attraction to me anymore and I think that really hurt as he was never really into sex anyway and it seems a harder blow because of that.