Everything was fine, talked about it but now I found out new things

[Denisee07]

Hi everybody, I had previously written a thread about 2 months ago about this topic, I couldn’t find the thread to copy and paste so you can remember which one. But I will shortly write it down and resume it ⬇️

Him and I had already talked about this after I posted here and heard took in consideration all of your opinions and we sorted things out, he apologized says he loves me and it was “ never with the intention of anything “ he said he felt comfortable speaking with me about it and so on, so I decided to give him a chance and start from there but recently I found out some things I didn’t know of.... **on point 2-) is what I discovered..

Around August 2016 my now boyfriend as an engineer that he is, started working on a luxurious residential building on the beach where he met this girl that caught his eye big time, he has talked to me about this girl a couple of times now ( last time was February 2020).

So when he spoke about her to me, he always said how beautiful, model looking this girl is, that she had all these rich men sending her flowers etc, and that all the men that lived in that building were after her. He even said she had a COKE BOTTLE BODY ( which is a lie, cause I have seen her already, it’s IDEALIZED!)

They began to date in around Jan-Feb 2017 , they never ended up having a real relationship but I feel that he IDEALIZED way to much and was deeply falling for her. ( she had gone through a break up with her past boyfriend due to the fact that he cheated on her.

1-) The point is that one time I was working on his laptop and saw that he had searched for her a couple of times on google ( this was around Sept- oct of last year)

**2-) I recently discovered he has an album of her and this other girl he dated after her on his mobile gallery, and even worse he has 3 folders of backups, of this building that he worked in and met her, including a backup of her pictures and snapshots of all their whatsapp conversations , all stored in a hardrive.

It seems this man was really into this girl or at least obsessed about her, cause from the way he talked to me about her and all this collection of her photos ( including sexy pictures), conversations and some pictures of them, plus it was obvious that they talked to each other/ dated longer that what he had told me. ( ps nobody obsesses so quickly about someone they don’t even know.

Another thing I find very STRANGE is that he took the girl he went out with after this girl to the building she works in, and prepare yourself:, he also took ME not 1 or 2 but a total of 4 times when we began Dating!!! What is the purpose of this?

Another thing I want to ask, and need you to be real honest is , why hasn’t he ever compared me physically to her or at least ( knowing that I am good looking, great body) at least say to me but your way more better looking than her babe,, you know like some real honest reassurance cause I am his girlfriend now, that’s just the PAST!!
**

We all remember your thread OP BECAUSE it was fucking obvious he is a psycho.

If you wish to continue in a relationship with him after everything he has done and everyone here has pointed out no good will come of it, it's on you.

Yeah I think you are spot on I am very competitive since I knew about her and that we have similar stereotypes, I felt like dam I need to step up my game ( hen I began to date him I though I was his queen, ) then months ahead he mentioned this girl and I immediately thought uff , I have competition 😱.

It was a very bad unpleasant feeling the first time he mentioned all of this.

**Yeah screenshots of all their conversations, pictures she send him etc, its so crazy that he would do backup of all that!!!!!!

@MsDogLady

Denisee, I too remember your other thread about this obsessed man who had inappropriate mentionitis about this woman he idolized. He was immensely disrespectful to you. Besides going on and on about her beauty and popularity, he also told you that they had kissed and cuddled in his bed in their underwear. When he repeatedly took you and his other ex to her building, he was obviously using you both to influence her.

I also recall that he had negged you in various ways. He encouraged you to do abdominals because he likes flat stomachs and small waists. Another time, when your friend who photographed you was on speakerphone with you and BF, she spoke highly of you as a friend/colleague and praised your beautiful photos. She commented later how insipid he seemed when she praised you. He never even asked you to show him the photos. Yet he frequently comments on the beauty of other women. He wants you to feel inadequate, Denisee.

You are now fully aware of just how deep his obsession with Ms Perfect goes. It is disturbing. You were previously advised to walk away, as this manipulative man wants to diminish you. Surely you will leave now.

Thank you for remembering, yup that’s him!!

I belive the girl he dated after this so wonder woman, was just a rebound,( by the way he kept an album of this girl as well and he has never ever mentioned me this other girl, its all about this Wonder Woman, it’s the only one he has mentioned me with details and several times) plus he took this other girl he dated to this same building where this wonder woman worked in, plus taking me when he dated me as well!!!. WHY?? Make HER jealous,?

**Plus why does he keep backups of all 3 folders of all her pictures, building pictures PLUS screenshots of ALL of their mobile messages ever!! , who in their right mind does this and WHY????????

**Why does a woman who knows her boyfriend is keeping backups of all 3 folders of all another woman's pictures, building pictures PLUS screenshots of ALL of their mobile messages ever!! , who in their right mind wouldn't just dump this loser...WHY????????

Who cares OP? You are loving the drama, so why not encourage him? Then make more threads about it.
Or, raise your standards out of the gutter and enjoy life.

I think we should stop responding to OP now. She creates a post asking from advise, everyone tells her to leave him (going back to her threads on and off mumsnet) and she completely ignores the response and just repeats the same old questions. I just wish people would want better for themselves and stop competing for someones love/attention when that person is clearly showing them they have no feelings for them. I don't think you're competitive (with whom since he has no relationship with this woman apart from maybe in his imagination).

You weirdly seem to be getting some sort of thrill from it all. I think you really need to work on yourself and possibly seek some professional help. You're as bad as one another. Good luck. You'll both need it.

Stop giving wasting headspace thinking about "WHY????" It doesn't matter why he's an arsehole. He just is. So dump him and stop wasting your time!