What’s the best way to support my friend?
She was in a long-term live in relationship w her boyfriend, over ten years of him not contributing to the rent then mortgage, not food, nor other bills. Ten years of bossing her around about housework, how she looked etc (she looks lovely). He’s not even good in bed!
Finally 5 years ago she’d had enough and broke up with him. He got his own place, his mum gave him a ton of money, he blew it all on clothes and musical instruments. Then he moved in with his mum as at age 50 it dawned on him that he’d have to work more than 14 hours a week if he wanted to live independently. Then (his mum lives in another city) he’d say to her “can I just stay the night so I can come into the city” & that grew and grew and now she “can’t get of him”.
He’s very neurotic about Covid (we are not in the U.K. and barely any deaths in our part of Canada) and now tells her she can’t go and visit her siblings in the nearby city, nor go camping with a woman friend from work. She won’t argue with him as she can’t bear the fuss. I know what that’s like, they grind you down.
Aside from confirming for her that his behavior is not okay, being an ear to listen, what else can I do? I told her she could sneak off early in the morning, text him en route, tell him if he’s not comfortable with her going to see friends and family he can stay elsewhere, but she won’t do it as she can’t bear confrontation.
I’m so upset with him, but not sure what I can do?