What helps you survive and thrive even if you are in an unhappy relationship/marriage?

[TheGC88]

I'm not looking for advice around leaving, just wondered if anyone is managing to live a happy fulfilling life whilst in these circumstances and if so how?

Leaving.

Maintaining good friendships.

@PicsInRed
Well said !!

This is the only way, and I speak from experience.

Emotional detachment, but be careful as this may be mental health protection from your perspective, but can easily be seen as abusive from your partner's perspective - one person's grey rock is another's stonewalling.

Activities, hobbies anything that separates you physically and emotionally from your partner. Again though see the above caveat.

External support, family, friends even colleagues if it comes to it.

Anonymous support Women's Aid, Samaritans, etc. Could also be useful in extreme circumstances.

I go to bed early and get up later than him which helps.

Garden, books, friends, family, TV, internet, the kids, cooking, work, colleagues, music.

Ignoring dickish behaviour and playing nice when he's nice for an easier life. Not ideal but suffices for now.

Going out on the evenings.
Talking to others
Girl weekends away

I left in the end but in the year beforehand I worked, a lot, threw myself into it and did long days in the office and more at home. I read 68 books. I met up with my sister and my mum a lot at weekends.

I invited people over. He could behave in public, most of the time, and having people round meant the facade stayed in place for a while.

Eventually you’ll have to leave. My turning point was waking up one morning thinking if I don’t go tonight I won’t ever have the strength to leave and my soul will shrivel and die. I moved onto my sister’s sofa with no clue about the next step and slept properly for the first time in a year. However shit leaving looks, staying if you’re really unhappy will kill your soul. It will.

Do you have kids? A lot of women stay for the kids. A friend of my mum was like this. Kept going and in their seventies now. They cookseparate, sleep separate and go on holiday separate.
They stay together because of finances.
Depends on the reason why you want to stay. A lot of people do and throw themselves into hobbies and friends!

I have kids and that is why I stay. I work long hours and before COVID spent a lot of time taking the kids out at weekends. But my DH tends to be worse if I spend more time with my family or friends for myself. once the kids are grown I can’t wait to leave his sorry ass.

@Rayn

Staying for the kids isn’t unique to women.