I am new to this forum and am reaching out in total desperation as I feel very close to breaking point.
My husband is a joint owner with his mother and she won't sell. They bought the house years ago on an interest only mortgage which was only intended as a short term arrangement as an investment. She was on benefits then having not worked for 30 years. My husband was working and qualified for the mortgage. It was taken on joint ownership.
Fast forward to 10 years later and now she is an OAP on pension.
She has agreed to sell and then disagreed and then agreed and then delayed for years. She has sent legal letters threatening court action for larger equity for 5 years - and I mean larger - she is claiming 90% due to right to buy discount. But the right to buy was offered to both my husband and her and there would be no equity without my husband funding the rest through the mortgage.
My husband and I are living in a tiny house which I own (mortgaged) which half the size and struggling for space as he is now working from home. I can't find work at the minute so I am classed as a dependent. We badly need to downsize the mortgage and move to more suitable housing for space and type of house (I have a condition that makes getting up the stairs very difficult).
With an outstanding debt of around 33k on my husbands head and on mine through marriage and his owning the other house with his mum, our borrowing is limited. I am fearful of us being on just one wage or losing this wage and in this house for the remainder of the term on his house or renting And even then, I am fearful that she may be so stubborn and determined to ruin us that it will go down the repossession route at the end of the term. It wont affect her but it would affect us.
I feel so trapped. I feel that no-one understands when I try to explain how awful it feels to have someone who is a mother in law and an OAP exert this control over our lives. She is basically living there for about £40 a month whilst tying us down to the full loan liability.
She does not operate on her own, she has a boyfriend for 20 years now and he advises her of how to milk the system in any legal matters.
My husband wants to sell and be free from her forever as I do, but we know she will simply start the same cycle all over again - agree to sell but not sell and say she will sell only if he accepts next to nothing of the equity. There is around 70k equity and she would have no problem with half of this renting or getting benefits or even buying somewhere with a lifetime mortgage but she wants it all. She is over 75 now and the lump sum will be disregarded anyhow. She spends all her days at her boyfriends house whilst the property sits empty. It is criminal.
I know she is taking the piss and we have backed off every time she throws her toys out of the pram when we try to extract ourselves. Only now things are getting desperate.
We feel we have nowhere to turn, and solicitors fees are out of the question. We do not qualify for legal aid and may be forced to act ourselves with an application for a court order to sell.
The battle that is the hardest is knowing that she will play on her age for all it's worth. But we are hardly spring chickens either now, hitting 50 next year... She is affecting 2 peoples lives here.
I guess I'm just reaching out for someone to understand this. Old people are not always nice and parents/parents in law are not always nice either. My parents are both deceased and it is very hard to stomach that this 'parent' acts like this.
It is the slow tap dripping on the forehead that does the most damage. I have felt suicidal over this in the last few months.
Has anyone else experienced similar?