Opinions on relationship breakdown please

[user67864]

This is actually about one of my closest friends who is going through an awful time. She keeps asking me for advice and what I think and I really don't know. I'm also concerned about putting ideas in her head.

Have slightly changed afew facts so it's not outing. She is 5 months pregnant and has been happily with her DH for over 4 years. It was a very much wanted pregnancy. He seemed just as excited as her about the pregnancy. However over the last couple of months he has become distant. Not wanting sex, working late etc. My initial thought was affair. However she actually knows he genuinely was working. If anything it seems to be he is working extra to avoid spending time with her. She finally had it out with him. He admitted he is not feeling 100% about their relationship anymore (his words). She is obviously in distraught and can't believe he had decided this when they are having a baby together. She has moved out and is staying with her mum at the minute. I feel awful for her. I also can't believe it as they have had such a good relationship. My only possible theories are the following

1. He is having an affair or at the least has feelings for someone else.
2. He is worried about having a baby
3. My friend is very silm and maybe he doesn't like her changing body. (I know this sounds ridiculous but she said he doesn't seem to even want to touch her)

I just wondered if anyone on MNs have experienced anything similar? Any advice for my friend? TIA

He is having an affair with someone at work...
Would put money on it

That is my fear. Her mum has said similar but I haven't wanted to agree in case I'm wrong and don't want to cause her anymore distress.

Not to drip feed but just remember another point I should have said. Whilst it was a wanted pregnancy. She said it did take a couple of years of him being undecided. She is now questioning whether he has changed his mind.

It does sound like an affair at very least an emotional one if not physical yet.

This will be an emotional affair - his actions are textbook.

I agree with others.
Sounds like an affair.
Would he agree to some couples counselling to get to the root of the issue (if it's not an affair)?
What does he think of her being at her mums?
Why is she there?
What forced that to happen?

If it's not an affair then perhaps he is freaking out about the baby arriving. He was undecided for a long time and now the baby is real the reality of the situation is causing him anguish which he won't discuss and is using work as a way to avoid your friend and "put his head in the sand." I've seen this a few times, especially when the guy wasn't 100% sure about having children, had unresolved issues from childhood (often family breakdown) or was unsure they could love a child or cope with the restrictions they would live under with a child. This is sometimes the reason for the "I love you but I'm not in love with you" speech given to pregnant women by their partners.

If he isn't having an affair, he's noticed someone at work who wants to be free to pursue. It's definitely the most likely explanation

Thanks everyone I agree I definitely think it's either an affair or the fear of having a baby. My friend seems to be denying it's either.
@SapatSea i actually think your post does sound like him. He has actually said he thinks he loves her rather than being in love. She says they both really wanted this baby. But I do wondered as it was her who was the driving force and he put it off for quite a while.

It must be heartbreaking for your friend dealing with this when this is supposed to be a really happy time. It's good she has your support and her mothers. Is her partner prone to depression? or has he acted strangely around other significant or stressful events e.g. buying a house and falling out with estate agents or solicitor? going awol before signing employment contracts things like that.

This article has a list of reasons why partners may not be supportive during pregnancy:
www.professional-counselling.com/relationship-advice-pregnant-and-partner-not-supportive.html

I do hope your friend can find out the reason (and that it's not an affair)

Thank you @SapatSea I hope so to. As far as I know he has never reacted like this to any other big event in his life.
Sorry didn't answer your question before @hellsbellsmelons she went to her mums because he said they needed some space. She said she is hoping by going he will realise what he could lose.

He has actually said he thinks he loves her rather than being in love
Oh dear - that is the cheaters script right there!

He initiated the split as well. Not good.
What is the house situation?
Do they own it?

I think this sounds like an affair or if not a full-blown affair, an attraction to someone at work and now his wife is having a baby he feels "trapped" and wants to be free to pursue this other woman.
There is most likely to be an other woman behind it.

I think your friend should consider what she wants to do long term. Does she want to live in the marital home? Is it owned or rented?
He's basically forced her out when it should have been him who moved out if he "wanted some space".
She needs to get her ducks in a row.
I think he'll be wanting a divorce next.

All you can do is be there for her as she goes through what should be such a happy time but is probably miserable for her. Does she really want to hang on to a partner who makes her so unhappy? She ought to consider going it alone just in case she has to. At least she has support of her Mum. If they own place together she needs to decide if she could afford it on her own. If they are renting she should stop contributing and make him pay it all of she is no longer living there. He does not sound nice or s keeper.