Can you be friends with an ex you still love ?

[geereer]

I still love him
He doesn't want to be with me BUT we speak every day still.
It hurts
I asked if he wanted to go for some food and he said no.
Then he rang me for a chat
I don't think I can do it.
What do I do ?

I asked him if he wanted to meet up as a friend and he said no.
He said I will think he wants a relationship and he doesn't.
He said he doesn't want to meet up with me ever again but will be happy to text and ring me.

Please don't lower yourself to being the woman he comes back to after he shags around. You deserve way more than that!

How would you feel if he got a new partner? If it would break your heart, you can't be friends.

Please cut ties with him.
Don't call him or message him.
If he calls you, don't answer. Give it a couple of hours before you text and say 'Sorry I missed your call, everything ok?' Grey rock the situation.
If he texts you about general chitchat, ignore; or reply with very bland answers. You don't need to be rude, but you don't want to get into a conversation about nothingness.
If he tries to contact you after 8pm, consider it that he's after a booty call and ignore.
I advise against blocking in this situation because it looks petty and like you're bothered; you don't want him to think that he's upset you like that.
Mute on WhatsApp and social media.

Above all, start living your life. Have fun, go out with friends, start a hobby. Keep yourself busy. Make your life so enjoyable that you can't even remember what it was like with him in it!

It's tough at first, but fake it till it becomes real.

Remember, you deserve so much more.

I couldn't stand seeing him with someone else.

He said he never wanted to meet up with you again?? What a bloody peach!

You're best going no contact for your own sanity.
He's right in saying you would think he wants a relationship if you met up.

He wanted to sleep around and broke up...it's better than cheating on you... you know where you stand.

No contact is the way to go.

I tried this with my ex, after he ended it. Supposedly with mental health issues. He was adamant it was "incredibly important" for us to remain friends. I told him I couldn't just be friends as I was in love with him. I stupidly went along with the friendship, hoping we would get back together. We did. The same patterned ensued, several times, because I allowed it too. In reality, he was just keeping me sweet whilst he dipped his finger in every pie possible. I didn't find out until very recently just how bad his behaviour had been. Please, please save yourself the heartache. It's impossible to just be friends if you still love him. How I wish that I'd cut ties with my ex, as my gut instinct told me to do.

OP have some respect for yourself and walk away with some dignity. Why would you do this to yourself? He has been so clear and you are almost sounding determined to go on self destruct mode for a guy that wants to fuck around with your body and mind. What would you advise a friend? Why are you worth so little? Aim higher so you don't attract scum.

please dont..I have been in this situation more than once unfortunately. it hurts like hell, which I can understand, but it will be a lot worse in the long run for younger and self esteem if you become his toy.
Allow yourself time to wallow, then get out there..I promise you will get over this, but not of you are still in contact with him. This situation messed years up for me

sorry, typo..'you' turned into 'younger' somehow!

For your plan to work he would have to miss you and wonder about how you are getting on and if you’re seeing anyone etc.

How will he ‘wonder’ if you’re at the end of a phone answering his questions? He has to miss you for real! Totally! As in no info available to him.

You have to not speak for your plan to work. I mean for a month. Minimum. No chat. Block in Facebook etc so he can’t get any inkling if your life. Every time you speak to him you are making you plan less likely to work.

The fact that he says he doesn’t want a relationship makes me concerned your plan won’t work but you’d have to not speak to him for a while to find out.

Why don’t you tell him you’re not going to be available for chats as your busy and you’ll catch up perhaps in the future, bye for now. Then block him from your social media.

If he’s going to miss you it will be then.

If you’ve not heard from him in a while you will know he’s not interested.

Or go with what others are saying and block totally now and get yourself a life without him - and possibly some new hobbies or something to keep you busy. Not a relationship yet as it’s too soon as you’re not over him.

Absolutley not, no.

It is hard but you have to have no contact so you don't feed the love you have for them.

I tried and 10 years later I was still in turmoil as we were ' best friends' according to him.

I am with everyone else. You cannot be friends if you still love him, it will destroy you. Stop all contact now. I am friends with my ex but I have no feelings for him in that way so feel nothing when he tells me a out his latest gf

Absolutely not!! He's messing with your head.. He knows that you still love him and he's happy to text and ring you but not meet up as friends.. Block his number, have a cry, bring that strong independent women back out and move on and get someone who will treat you right

He doesn't want to see you, apparently to stop you getting confused about his intentions (?) but he wants to talk and text, keeping you stuck in the moment.

He's prepping you for the future he's thinking that when he wants it he can see you and when you end up in bed he can walk away guilt free because hes already stated you are the one who is confused and in love with him.

Honestly do yourself a favour and tell him to fuck off, he wants to chat but doesn't love you, You want him to love you.

You need to heal and put this behaviour behind you. There's a better man out there I promise you that.

You will see this bloke as a dickhead you had a shitty time with, but that will be in the future when youre over the pain.

Text him and tell him you don’t want to talk to him again, you have friends and he is not one of them. Thanks for the memories and bye.

Then block him.

He’s been clear he’s happy to use you as a remote sounding board and that’s it. Stop torturing yourself.

If you’re the poster who keeps posting about this under a variety of names, you’ll get the same answers every time.

He doesn’t want to be with you. Let him go, block him and move on with your life.

No. I think sometimes when you've both properly moved on you can become friends in a different way much later but you need a clean break during the split. He's being very unfair on you.

@OnceUponAMidnightBeery

If you’re the poster who keeps posting about this under a variety of names, you’ll get the same answers every time.

He doesn’t want to be with you. Let him go, block him and move on with your life.

I thought about that too.

If she is, irrelevant of what we say it sounds like she has major issues that go beyond our advise.

Bravo @RaspberryToupee!

That was very clear and comprehensive.

My ex has done this to me. Except he’d ask to meet yo and talk - before me finding out he’d been with someone a couple of weeks after we split. He’s now moving to Dubai or wanting to.
I think you need to block him, it’s so hard but it’s loving yourself x