Confused

[JellyBaby90]

I’ll cut a long story short... my husband has form for being less than faithful, primarily by being on dating sites. Each time I find out and forgive him but this time I only found out as a family member saw him on a dating app and told me.
I feel so humiliated to have found out in this way! We haven’t really talked about it much since it happened, but he’s been very distant despite being sorry again blah blah blah.
I just don’t know what to do anymore. On the one hand, I don’t deserve to be treated like this but on the other I don’t want to lose my best friend.
Not sure why I’m posting really. No one to talk to irl at the moment, and I can’t sleep.
I recently came off anti depressants thinking that things were getting better but I’m really struggling again now.

Leave him. He's a cheating arse. Oh, and get an STI check if you've been sleeping with him.
He's got no respect for you.

He reckons he’s not met anyone off there... but wouldn’t show me his profile...!

When you forgive cheating men in their eyes you give them a free pass to continue. They just think there will be a bit of grief then back to normal after they tell you what you want to hear. Awful I know, but sadly true.

He's NOT your best friend - who treats their best friend like this ?
each time How often has this happened ?

A few now :( I think this is 3 since we got back together after him leaving me for someone else.

Wow. Writing that has really made it hit home!

I'm sorry you're going through this @JellyBaby90.
Take it from someone who's been there...it doesn't stop.
My ex was messing around for years. I couldn't find solid proof, so we skirted around good times and bad for years. Then I finally found out he had a girlfriend...of 18 months!
12yrs of marriage and 15yrs in total down the drain. Really scary to start again at 32, but I wouldn't change a thing now.

If you decide it is over, that decision will come when the time is right for you to make it.
For now, take care of yourself. Remember you do deserve more, and you will be happy again.
I didn't believe anyone who said that at the time, but it does get better.
Good luck and big hugs x

Thank you @Belle1983
I (fortunately/ unfortunately?) do have solid proof and an admission to being on dating sites each time I’ve confronted him :(

Don't listen to his words, look at his actions.
The way he's acting is showing you how he feels about you/commitment.

Best friends don’t hurt each other.

He’s been caught numerous times. I doubt he will stop.

What @MashedSpud said.
Time to part 💐

This is terribly sad, but as a PP have said - forgiving him so many times is just giving him permission to continue. The question is often asked on MN - if you had a daughter being treated this badly , or a best friend, what advice would you give? For the sake of your happiness and self esteem - leave and find peace. Staying is only going to open yourself to a world of pain. He has left you once and will do it again. Take charge of your life and be happy. Good luck.

Why are you worth so little that he can do this to you again and again. He's not sorry. Being truly sorry means not doing it again. He is showing you who he is. You may find that when you leave him for good you do t need ad any more!

Leave op. This is no life.

My god, you call him your best friend when he repeatedly disrespects and betrays you?

He isn't a friend, let alone a husband. He's just some manky bloke with a wandering dick.

I think your depression will improve immeasurably when you show yourself that you value yourself enough to divorce him

It’s almost like he’s two completely different people. The side of him I call my best friend is the side of him that couldn’t do enough for me, we have the same interests etc. But as a husband... I just don’t trust him anymore. I don’t feel strong enough to leave though. I think that’s my main problem. I’ve got to a stage of burying my head in the sand and ignoring it just for an “easy” life.